Walk by Faith

A Mighty Power!

2012-01-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

How many times can one kid blast off into the outer space of accomplishments?! I asked Mike if it was my imagination, yesterday morning, or were Lily's pants all getting too short again?
Well she had a follow up appointment at Children's and guess what? The child has grown 2" in the last 6 weeks or so since she was last measured! She has leaped into the 41st percentile for height. Pretty amazing considering that when she came home with us 2 1/2 years ago she wasn't even on the charts:-)
She hasn't been able to keep up in the weight department. Due to the new height it has now dropped her to below the 1st percentile for weight. If she repeats her typical pattern she will now spend the next several weeks adding some weight. She actually broke the 25 lb. mark which was a huge milestone, but she had a tummy ache over the weekend and dropped back down to 24 lb.
She is using her light weight to her advantage, however, and is taking flight in therapy! Today she decided it was time to do laps. She refused to sit down, she only wanted to stand, and then she wanted to walk. With one therapist holding her hands and one holding her hips for stability she then proceeded to march around the 8x10 carpet, not once, not twice, but 4 times!! We were all amazed, to say the least. I think her therapists are having to re-write all of her goals this afternoon because she just passed and surpassed a whole bunch of them.
Strong and determined are much to mild to describe this girl. Try charging warhorse, locomotive, launching space shuttle. Watch out world, Lily-an is coming!!

Treasure

2012-01-14T08:50:00.001-08:00

Well I made it official this week. While I am not closing the door of the Purple Pincushion entirely, I am wholly and completely committed to a full time position outside of the shop. The retirement benefits were too good to pass up. My position is fully vested in the Matthew 6:19 plan.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

I am now a 100% full time MOM! Mike's business is really taking off and I feel like I can set aside my business at this point and focus on the much more important work at hand, helping Lily grow healthy and strong, loving and thanking God all the way. It is a weird transition for me. I have poured my heart and soul into my business for the last 10 years so that I would be able to do exactly what I am doing now, so that I wouldn't be under someone else's thumb. Now if I can just get out from under my own thumb.....Lol!

Wish me the wisdom and grace to be the mother and teacher that Lily needs me to be.

New Year, New Lily

2012-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Looks like 2012 has a lot in store for our little girl. For those of you who have not seen Lily since she started her anti-seizure medication in August, I cannot even begin to describe the incredible changes that have been taking place.
I can't even count the number of times, before medication, that I described Lily as strong, determined, and motivated. I never thought I would see that drive and determination increase even more. The girl has become a high speed freight train of accomplishment, focus, and yet more determination.
Today at lunch was the perfect example. One of the major goals Lily has had in therapy since day one has been hand to hand transfer of objects. This shows that the right and left sides of the brain are communicating with one another. This is a goal typically achieved somewhere in the 6-12 month age range. We have worked on this with Lily to no avail these past two years.
So what does she do today, completely unassisted and unprompted? Not only does she complete a precise hand to hand transfer once, not twice, but three times! All while making the additional accomplishment of taking the cracker (object she was transferring) directly to her mouth to take a bite out of it. Another area we have been working on with her, being able to feed herself.
God willing, may 2012 be a year of amazing firsts for Lily!

Christmas Tree

2011-12-25T15:14:00.000-08:00

Here is our Charlie Brown Christmas tree! Living in a 950 square foot apartment doesn't leave a lot of room for a big tree. I guess we could look for a really, really skinny, tall tree because we have 9 foot ceilings, but oh well:-) This is actually the first Christmas tree we have had in the apartment since we moved in here 6/7 years ago! We have always spent the holidays with family so it never made sense to put up a tree that we weren't even going to be home to see. Even with a small tree floor space is at a premium so the tree found a home on top of Oscar's kennel.
Can you make out our little angel on top of the tree? Lily's pre-school class made an ornament with each child's picture in the center. She's a perfect tree topper:-)

Christmas Elf

2011-12-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

So our little elf is hard at work making sure everything is just so:-) It is so amazing to see how far she has come since last Christmas when she was still struggling to hold up her own head.
Thank you God!

Defiant of All Limitations

2011-11-15T13:30:00.000-08:00

So...... We got the results from Lily's latest EEG. The neurologist was very happy with the readings he was able to obtain. He was not, however, able to put Lily neatly into a diagnostic box. Hmmmm.....big surprise!!

Her EEG is showing that she is still having fairly significant electrical activity while she is sleeping even while on medication (we half expected this). What he was surprised to note was that pattern of electrical activity was very close to ESES (Electrical Status Epilepticus of Sleep) it is not exactly that. ESES is what his original suspicion was. But apparently Lily doesn't want follow any particular known or understood pattern. From what I understand, at this point, there is no name for what she has it is just a very, very close relative of ESES.

What next? The doctor is going to go ahead and treat this the same way he would if it was actually ESES. We have been seeing significant improvements in her overall development since she started the seizure meds. and that is an indication that they are doing something. She was on the very lowest possible dose of Keppra so we will gradually be increasing it to see if we can bring those electrical impulses under control. The doctor is going to be comparing her original EEGs with this new one to see what the actual, measurable change has been with the change in dosages.

Apparently one of Lily's God given purposes in this life is to confound, aggravate, irritate, and leave the medical community scratching their heads. And she is so sweet and adorable she actually forces them to put aside their institutionally acquired apathy and do something for her!! In this day in age that is an incredibly powerful gift!

That's where things stand for now. We see her regular doctor on Friday for a check up. We are very anxious to see his reaction to all of the changes she has undergone since he last saw her in action. She slept through her entire appointment with him the last time we saw him - LOL!

More Lily

2011-11-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

God is Amazing

2011-11-08T15:09:00.000-08:00

The pictures speak for themselves.

Light Out of Darkness and other Minor Miracles

2011-11-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

So.......Lily and I have had one heck of a year between the two of us, medically speaking. I have said it before and I will say it again, I can not wait for this year to be over!!! However, we do have tons of things to be thankful for. Like no cancer - that's a biggie! Getting to see some of our China family this summer - amazing time! Mike starting his business - scary but good! Lily having 2 seizures - yes you read right - thank you God for the seizures!!!

Now before I explain why Lily's seizures are a good thing I would very forcefully like to drive home this core of my belief, not because I want to proselytize or evangelize, but because it is the only way I survived this summer. I clung to these words because they were the only hope I had.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

It doesn't say that God works some things for the good of those who love him, it says ALL. That means that absolutely everything that happens to me (or all things) God is working for the good. Even the things that I think are bad and horrible.

2 Samuel 22:31
As for God, his way perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless.

So here is how God worked Lily's seizures for good - this is long so get comfortable.

A few weeks back we conferred with Lily's pediatrician and we all agreed to seek a second opinion in the neurology department regarding Lily's seizures. The original neurologist, upon a 2nd abnormal EEG reading, simply said "Well her readings are abnormal, increase her meds, see you in 9 months." No explanation what so ever as to the what or why of her abnormal readings.
So we met the new doctor on Monday. Dr. Hsu happens to be the sweetest, most humble, and excellent doctor I have had the opportunity to deal with. He spent over an hour with us going over Lily's records and history and was very helpful and patient answering all of our questions. He had an immediate suspicion just from her initial EEG of what her condition is. We have another EEG scheduled for next week and hopefully we will be able to confirm his diagnosis. He believes she has a very rare type of epilepsy found in fewer that .5% of all epilepsy patients. It is called ESES or Electrical Status Epilepticus of Sleep - yeah, it's a mouthful.
This type of epilepsy does not present with visible seizures. It is an electrical malfunction only and does not include motor malfunction which is what you see with the twitching or flailing in a typical seizure. It is basically a hidden epilepsy that occurs as an electrical disruption during sleep. No outward signs what so ever. Instead of Lily's brain quieting down and going into a normal sleep pattern she instead experiences increased repetitious brain activity. From what I understand she never gets REM sleep. If left untreated this causes extreme developmental, cognitive, speech, and motor delays and eventually permanent impairment, all basically from severe sleep deprivation. This will also cause difficulty with growth.
If Lily hadn't had the two regular seizures this summer (which are entirely unrelated) we NEVER would have found this. We would have had no reason in the world to suspect something like this and no doctor would have recommended having and EEG without those 2 seizures. Thank you God for lighting our way!!
This type of epilepsy normally shows up in children between 3-5 years of age and presents itself as a sudden regression in abilities. The child will develop normally all along and suddenly they start losing speech, fine and gross motor skills, etc. Many of these kids are misdiagnosed as autistic or pervasive development delay (PDD or failure to thrive). Lily had them both as possible diagnosis. The epilepsy is not discovered in many of these children until too late when the damage has become mostly permanent. Once a diagnosis is made there is treatment but it seems to be a very difficult thing to get under control, no one drug or combination of drugs works all the time in every kid.
Dr. Hsu is very hopeful for Lily, however. We have no way of pinpointing when she began having these seizures, but we have seen nothing but forward progress from her in the two years she has been with us. Normally these kids go backwards pretty dramatically. Since she has been on the anti-seizure meds her progress has even accelerated if you can believe that!! She is starting to put on pounds, not just ounces, and her enthusiasm and drive are out of this world. Her motor skills are coming together all around and she is making more noise and meaningful vocalization every day. Dr. Hsu is hopeful that her current med is doing the trick and keeping these abnormal brain spikes at bay. The EEG next week will show how well it is working.
If we can maintain control over these episodes there is a very high likelihood that Lily will regain all of the ground she has lost and move on the catch her peers. This type of epilepsy normally disappears when a child reaches adolescents.

So now you know the scoop. We are thankful to God for everything he has done in our lives whether we have understood what he is doing or not. At times it is very difficult to hang on to any shred of faith but hang on we must. Then along come days like this when we want to sing from the mountain tops our praises to our faithful God.

2 Samuel 22:29
You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.

Busybody

2011-11-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

This may seem like a boring video of a blabbing child but you will understand the significance when I have a chance to explain all of the updates I have on Lily. Trust me when I say that it will take me a while to write them all down. In the mean time, until I get a chance to do that, enjoy watching Lily be Lily:-)

More to Come

2011-11-03T19:57:00.000-07:00

So I realized that it has been a while since many of you have seen an recent, updated picture of Lily so here you go:-) This was a couple of weeks ago. Commanding attention at the dinner table - no one has to teach this girl leaderships skills - lol!
I do have a ton of updates on Miss Lily but at the moment I am spent so they will have to wait for another day. Just know that we are all doing very, very well.

2 Years

2011-10-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

There are no words to describe how this day makes me feel. Two years ago today, on the other side of the earth, we were handed a delicate, scared, fragile stranger. Today we have, while still delicate in build, a strong, fierce, determined powerhouse of joy and love. To witness the unfolding of such a beautiful flower is truly amazing.

Everyone loves a Parade!

2011-10-08T06:44:00.000-07:00

Lily got to spend last weekend getting lots of Grandpa time in. Mike's dad came down to visit for a few days. It was the weekend of our city's fall festival and the parade goes right past the front of our building, we couldn't miss it if we wanted to! Lily was pretty oblivious to all the goings on when we went last year, but this year was a different story! The marching bands were like Christmas in October! This girl sure loves her music:-) And her Grandpa, of course!

One Step at a time!

2011-09-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

It has been almost two years since Lily-an came in to our lives. At first we were only concerned with the most basic elements of survival for her. Just giving her the most and very best food we could to allow her body to recover and strengthen. Rolling over and sitting up were huge accomplishments for her. The light of life brightened in her eyes and she began to reach out to the world around her and want more.

Well watch out world, here comes Lily!! We got her new braces (called KAFO's) last Wednesday but we haven't had much of a chance to try them. It takes a while to brake them in so she only wears them an hour or so at a time right now. We had some time tonight to try them out.

Bear in mind that this is the very end of the day and she had nearly fallen asleep not even 10 minutes before this - we were trying to wait for Mike to get home to take the video. We had already spent 20-30 minutes working on standing and walking so she was tuckered out! I had made the red carry sling back when we were working on trying to help her crawl and it occurred to me that it might be helpful to assist her walking. I wish Mike had been home to get video of her right after we tried it the first time, she was so excited, and so, so proud of herself:-) Mama and Baba are pretty proud of her too!

Strong and Determined

2011-09-21T20:18:00.000-07:00

The Chinese attributes for the Morningstar Lily, which our Lily is named after, are strength and determination. Lily may not be able to talk, she may not be able to walk, she may be months and months behind her peers in her development, but this little girl has so much inner strength and determination, she blows me away.
Today we started out very early with appointments. First we went and picked up her new braces - yeah! We are very happy with them, we are looking forward to working with her in them.
Then we went to get fitted for the take home EEG. Basically they took goop and band aids, stuck 25+ electrodes to her head, and mummy wrapped her head with gauze. With a big cord coming out the top of her head attached to a little computer pack we were supposed to go happily on our way and proceed normally through the next 72 hours - haha - real funny!
We actually did pretty good at first. Lily even had an awesome therapy session. We came home and had dinner, but come time for bed the S & D kicked in to overdrive. Lily was bound and determined that she was not going to go to sleep with those things on her head.
Mike had his hands full while I was at my EMS refresher class. By the time I got home it was after 9:30 and she was still wide awake, but taking a break from her attempts to dislodge the electrodes. I wish he could have taken video of her because I know some of you will just think that maybe Daddy didn't know how to put her to sleep, but that is only because you have never seen this girl when she is on a mission. When I did get home she had already managed to get all of the gauze and tape off and was working on the electrodes themselves. Imagine a writhing baby crocodile, a very, very mad baby crocodile. She refused to let Mike change her clothes or even touch her head, except for when he told her he was just going to take some of the gauze off. Hmmmm......this girl knows what she wants.
Mike had managed to call the clinic's help line by this time and they said just take everything off because if the electrodes are moved or not seated properly the test won't work. So we took all of the stuff off. Washed Lily's hair to get all the goop off and she went right to sleep.
Defeated by the strong and determined one. We are declaring a temporary vacation from all doctors and all doctor's tests. Mike and I pretty much feel the same way Lily does right now. We're going to bed.

Big Day

2011-09-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

This picture about sums up Lily's attitude through out her first day of pre-school! She was quite the happy and excited little student. I was a little worried that she would get overwhelmed by the noise and craziness because she has, from time to time, been overwhelmed in the Sunday school preschool. There was no need for me to worry. I stayed for the 2 1/2 hour session, mostly just to observe her for signs of stress, and she did great. She jumped right in and actively engaged anyone who came with in her reach and charmed her classmates and teachers alike with her very best smiles. She even brought out a couple of kisses for the coordinator. Hmmm...I think somebody knows exactly who to butter up too!!!

Knit One Purl Two?

2011-09-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

Now I am not a knitter, I am a crocheter, so forgive me if I have the terminology incorrect, but I understand the basic principles:-) One or two needles are used with yarn to create a series of knots. In both knitting and crocheting a pattern of "knots" is generally followed to produce an expected outcome (a hat, scarf, socks, etc.).

King David claimed God to be a knitter.

Psalm 139:13
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

There is something very comforting to me about imagining God sitting in His big God rocking chair knitting me together. It also will help me explain, I think, what we found out today from Lily's test results.

We got back several test results all at once today. Lily had a genetics consult back on the 1st of August at which time they evaluated her to see if she fit the criteria for genetic testing, which she did. Basically she has had ongoing delays with an unknown cause so they can legitimately ask for an analysis of her DNA to look for genetic syndromes or other issues with her DNA. Genetics were also concerned that she may have misshapen vertebrae in her spine so they also wanted x-rays. Due to the seizures that started last month she also had an MRI of her brain done last week (genetics wanted one as well).

MRI came back as unremarkable. That means perfectly normal!! Yeah God! There has been an off chance all along that Lily could have mild cerebral palsy or some other type of brain abnormality. The more and more we have come to know our daughter the less and less we believed those possibilities, but the doctors needed proof and now they have it:-)

The spinal x-rays, as well, came back completely normal.

Now to explain what they found in genetics. First what they did was comb through all of Lily's chromosomes to make sure she wasn't missing any or that she didn't have any extra. Then they look even closer to see if any of the chromosomes are formed differently than what they believe to be standard. There are variations within standard so sometimes it is hard to tell what is actually enough of a deviation to cause problems.

Lily has the perfect 46 chromosomes, 23 pairs. However, on chromosome #2, she has a tiny add on. When a chromosome has extra material or is missing material it is described as positive, negative, or undetermined. Lily's addition is classified as "undetermined" because it is such a small amount of additional material that it may be standard. Another reason that it is classified as undetermined is because so few people have been discovered to have this deviation. One way we would have been able to establish if her deviation was standard would have been through family history, which of course we do not have.

From the limited research that had been done on this chromosomal difference three traits have come up fairly frequently (geneticists are only just beginning to understand what each chromosome does). The three traits are delayed gross motor development, delayed intellectual development, and febrile seizures. The other trait, common to many children with any type of chromosomal issues, is difficulty "growing". In Lily's case, gaining weight.

So what does this all mean and what do we do now? First off it means we praise God!! We are so thankful that we have answers and good answers at that. I know some of you might be thinking that this is horrible news, but really it is truly amazing and wonderful news to us. Lily does not have some horrible disease or syndrome. Her brain is completely intact, functional, and perfect. Her body is strong and healthy and growing stronger and healthier every day.

There is no ceiling on what Lily can achieve in this life. She may have to work a little harder and a little longer to get the same results as her peers, but there is nothing standing in her way to physically stop her from doing anything she is determined to do. God had meaning and purpose when He had us name her after the Morningstar Lily, which stands for strength and determination. God, and the strength and determination He has gifted her with are all she needs to succeed in this life. We will throw a lot of love in there for good measure:-)

A master knitter doesn't use a pattern - they create the pattern. There is also no such thing as a mistake to the Master either. The Master makes all things beautiful. God gave Lily an extra stitch because He wanted her to be an extra special girl.

Summer

2011-08-29T12:30:00.001-07:00

This picture just about sums up the summer:-)

God is Good, and Weird, Apparently

2011-08-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Finally! I can officially report that I do NOT have thyroid cancer!!! After thinking that I had the all clear after surgery two weeks ago we got some unexpected bad news last Friday at my check up. The complete pathology had come back with the discovery of some "weird" (doctor's words) looking cells. Their pathologists didn't know what they were so my samples had been sent out to the Mayo Clinic for further diagnosis. Talk about bummed out!! If the cells were determined to be cancerous that would mean that I would have to have the surgery all over again to have the remaining thyroid half removed.
I got the official word this afternoon that after FOUR Mayo clinic pathologists reviewed my samples they were determined to be benign. The nurse said my samples were very popular due to their weirdness:-/
I guess this falls under the category of "fearfully and wonderfully made" in God's creation department, lol!

Nothing to report on Miss Lily yet. She has not had any more seizures for which we are thankful. She had her MRI yesterday and has an EEG on the 7th. We will just have to wait and see what all of the test results say and go from there. She just keeps forging ahead with her typical good natured determination.

I am just glad and thankful that God is allowing me to focus my full attention back on my little girl:-)

Weekend Round Up

2011-08-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a crazy week last week. Dad had major surgery to repair a herniated diaphragm on Wednesday, I had my thyroid surgery on Thursday, and Lily had another seizure while I was in the hospital. I think we have had enough medical drama to last us for say, another 30 years or so:-p
So - Dad is doing pretty good. The surgery was pretty extensive so he has been in ICU, but they are hoping he will be out tomorrow. My surgery went perfectly. The doctor was very pleased and told me I had a beautiful neck for operating on (gee thanks doc:-/). The biopsy showed no signs of cancer. They will still be doing a more thorough pathology that I will get the results of next week, but at this point it looks highly unlikely that they will find anything. I have much less pain than I was expecting and I feel remarkably good. Praise God!
Now Miss Lily. Lily had recovered very well from what we thought was a fever induced seizure (febrile seizures) back on July 30th. She obviously had some kind of virus because she continued to fight the fever for several days after the initial onset the day she had the seizure. She was back to her normal self and we didn't think too much of it. Febrile seizures are very common in little kids.
Thursday, the day of my surgery, she was her regular happy self up until about an hour after they took me off to surgery. At that point Mike said she went into major meltdown mode. He assumed that she was upset that she hadn't had her snack yet. Eventually he got her calmed down and was able to feed her and then she fell asleep. I was coming out of surgery by this point and it was as they were wheeling me into my room that Lily started seizing in her sleep. I was with it enough to know what was going on, but out of it enough not to care too much. I just told Mike to go and not worry about me because I was falling back to sleep anyway:-/ Mike immediately got her down to the ER and the docs took it from there. No fever this time and since it was her 2nd seizure in less than two weeks they automatically did a CT scan. Everything came back normal.
But now we are in a new realm of medical concern because we need to figure out why Lily is having seizures if they are not being caused by a fever. She will be seeing a neurologist this week and getting a complete MRI of her brain next week that will be looking for any abnormalities that could be triggering the seizures. Aside from epilepsy there are a whole host of medical conditions that can trigger seizures so we may be playing medical detective for a while. In the mean time, until we find out exactly what is going on, the doctors have put her on a low dose anti seizure med to make sure she doesn't have any more seizures.
Mike and I have a very, very strong hunch that Lily is experiencing what is called a Psychogenic Non-epileptic Seizure (PNES). It is basically a stress induced seizure. Even before Lily had her first seizure we had read a lot about internationally adopted children, who have come from hard beginnings, who have experienced these type of seizures. Many times they will be misdiagnosed with epilepsy, but eventually the doctors figure out there is nothing wrong with the brains of these children, it is the emotional and psychological trauma that is manifesting itself in the form of a seizure. It is especially common in children who do not have effective communication skills, and more common in girls than in boys. We will go through all of the testing just to make double sure, though.
To say that our little family has been stressed out for the past couple of months is certainly an understatement. We have done a lot of traveling, Lily's therapies have changed from in home to at facility, Lily has been experiencing tremendous physical and developmental growth, my health issues, Mike's new business, my busy work schedule, and it just goes on and on. It is amazing that we all haven't been having seizures!
Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. It means so much to us to know that we are not alone and that so many of you care so deeply.
Anyway - that is the gist of what is going on with us at the moment. I think you will all understand that we are taking some major steps back from a lot of our commitments in the coming weeks and just focusing on one another.

Diva Alert

2011-08-09T05:07:00.001-07:00

This girl has been practicing her diva! Does she look like she means business or what?! As you can see she has made a full and complete recovery from her little virus last week. In fact, I think she has come back supercharged!

Feeling Better

2011-08-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well we were supposed to be leaving for Minnesota this morning but things just did not work out this time around. With Lily's rough weekend and my impending surgery we just decided that a 9 hour car ride was not in our best interest at the moment. Lily's fever seems to have subsided and she finally got a good night's sleep last night (hopefully that means mom and dad can get a good night's sleep tonight).
I heard from my sister that Lily's cousins got to go on pony rides at the fair this past weekend so I thought I would share a picture of Lily on her "pony ride" while we were camping. I am thinking she might have been a little more enthusiastic about the real deal - lol! The wooden pony just isn't cutting it for her.

Wow, what a day it is has been.

2011-07-30T18:44:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmm... where to start. Let's start with the good. Enjoy the video posted. It is from a few days ago at one of Lily-an therapy sessions. She has amazed quite a few people lately especially the therapists she sees. They are amazed at times I think. Lily has been getting stronger by the day. Her muscles are developing and you can see them now when she uses them. You can see her determination in the video. We are seeing this everyday with what she is doing. She is grabbing onto things and holding on. Her grip is very strong. She is bringing both hands together and grabbing things. This is a huge developmental stage for her. Means that both sides of the brain are communicating with each other. She is getting more vocal with situations around her. She is more attentive to what is going on around her and turning her head to see what is going on. You say her name and she looks at you. It just keeps getting better. She so bad wants to move and determined to do it. She isn't content with sitting on the floor now. She doesn't like crawling all that much. We go over to her or come near her and she reaches for us. She wants to stand up. So, we position her legs on the floor and have her stand. She stands from sitting now. She comes up on her knees from the floor. She initiates all of it. We are here to guide and help her but let her do it all. She wants to do this at home as well as at therapy. It is getting really interesting really fast. She is growing up right before us now. What a change in a short period of time. I can't wait to see what happens over the next 6 months. We are both excited for this and amazed at the change before our eyes. We will keep posting all the good stuff so everyone can keep up. Words really can't express everything. There are changes coming our direction. We have been getting this feeling for the past few months and Jennifer and I have been talking about it more and more now. Especially after today - will explain later. We have both been realizing the importance of our family, the 3 of us and what our responsibility is as parents to Lily-an. We both feel God is working in our lives and He is giving us a feeling of change coming. We trust in this feeling because it has happened before, how do you think we ended up here in Wisconsin, along with other things. I know not all of you are believers so you may not understand what I am saying. But, it is where Jennifer and I are at in our faith journey. We try our best to put our trust in the Lord for guidance through life that we are living out his will for us. We do make mistakes, quite often, but we always try to listen to he is trying to say to us. We do this through prayer, fellowship, reading the bible and more. The way things are looking is Jennifer will be scaling back considerably on her work in the sewing world. She has worked extremely hard the last 8 years and now things are about to change. My business is doing ok and the way things are going, I am picking up more work. We have felt that our family has been a little out of sync since we adopted Lily-an and more so lately. With the fact the Jennifer is facing surgery in a few weeks is the perfect opportunity to re-evaluate things and start a new direction. She is starting to not take on work. Only what she wants to and if time allows. Her main responsibility will be to take care of Lily-an now with sometime spent in the shop. Not the other way around like it has been. These are important times for Lily-an and her development. We feel it is necessary to help her progress and develop as much as possible. We need to do our part now more than ever. We can't the way we are doing things. Things have to change. I will pick up the hole that will be left by Jennifer. We both know it will not be easy but with God guiding us, we can do. We know He will provide all that we need. We may not get rich doing it but we will have our family and it will be a strong family which is what is so needed now in these times we live. Our emphasis will be on family and the time we spend together. I will work at my shop restoring and repairing cars as much as I can. I have work through the end of the year for sure and with smaller side projects coming in, I will keep busy. We ask that you keep us in your prayers as we adjust to this change and that God provides exactly what we need to do it. This is a huge adjustment for us but we know it is the right thing to do. Now, a little note about today. Our morning started at 4am with Lily waking up crying. This has happened before but not for a while. Jennifer got up, gave her some juice and Lily didn't want to go back to sleep. Jennifer brought her to bed with us so she could at least rest with her. I noticed Lily was extremely warm, almost hot. Confusing since we have a/c and it is on. Soon, Jennifer says she is taking Lily-an on an early morning walk and off she goes. Things are good, right. She returns and soon wakes me up about 7:30am, something isn't right. Lily-an is having a seizure. She was warm. Thank goodness we are emt's and have some training to understand what is going on. Off to the ER by ambulance. Her temp was 103. Kind of low for febrile seizure. After a few minor tests and some Tylenol, her temp comes down to under 100 and she perks up sits up and is starting to look like herself. She is very tired and exhausted which is completely normal after this. Oh, she is also a little ticked off. Things look good, tests come back negative and the only thing the Dr can come up with is a virus spiked her fever and caused it. Makes sense as talk about it and we leave feeling comfortable with what he said. We have monitor her temp now. If it is a virus, there is nothing really that can be done, just need to run its course and give her ibuprofen and tylenol to keep the fever at bay. Normal thing to do. We called the on call pediatrician at Lily-ans dr's clinic and he agreed with what the er doc said. Just what kind of virus is it is the question. The ped. Dr. is thinking foot/mouth virus. It isn't flu season here and what happened is characteristic of foot/mouth virus. And this makes even more sense because Lily-an is in the stage of putting her mouth on everything she can and putting everything to her mouth she can. Like parents haven't seen their children do that. The seizure/fever is usually the first signs to show up with this virus. The physical signs (blister, red spots) show up a few days later. This afternoon, Lily-an was her normal self and we are doing great. Her temp is great, she is eating like she always does, bathroom as normal and is very playful and active like normal. We are going to monitor her temp over night and give her meds if we have to. That is about all we can do within our ability. We are praying God will heal her, correct her body, take care of the virus, no more seizures and that he gives us wisdom, peace and understanding through this process. Today was a day that we couldn't fix anything. Lily-an was in the palm of God's hand and he was taking care of her. We could only pray. Talk about helpless and useless. This is one thing, we couldn't fix or do anything about. Making a few decisions was about it. We believe God answered our prayers but we are not giving up, we are going keep praying for Lily-ans health(maybe our sanity also). Today really made us look hard at our situation here and it confirms more and more that we are on the right track. Most people would think we are out of our minds, yeah, maybe we are but with God, it will all be ok. We believe that, we have faith in that and it will. Pray for Lily-an that she is healed. No parent wants to be in our shoes and today I stood in someone elses. I have a greater understanding for the little patients I see and their parents. I can relate now where I could never before. Now I know. What a lesson today was. My heart breaks over what happened today. I was helpless........but I knew Lily-an was in good hands.

Little Rocky!

2011-07-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

If I were computer savvy enough I would edit the theme song from Rocky into this video, but I'm not so you are just going to have to imagine it:-)

Lily-an went crazy in therapy yesterday! We have started working on moving from sitting to standing the past couple of weeks because she has seemed interested. Well no question now, that is all she wants to do. Her therapy session in 45 minutes long and that is all she did the entire time - sit, stand, sit, stand. And not just easy, tentative, beginner sitting and standing! She was using her arms to pull herself up (it took a few tries to get the message to her glutes to help out, but they got it) and then we moved her to the mini trampoline where she practiced more pulling up and the therapist helped her stand upright and bounce, and bounce, and bounce!

Of course she got to finish the session on the swing - her favorite. She has that figured out:-) She knows the therapist won't move the swing if she isn't holding on with both hands (doing anything using both hands has been difficult for her) but she put both hands on the ropes immediately and was very insistent that the swing move, even turning to swat at Kelly to make the swing move.

She was so excited and proud of herself! She was absolutely beaming through her exhaustion - and she really was exhausted by the time we got done. She had a quick snack between PT and speech but she still only made it partway through speech before she needed more food. And then she zonked out hard on the way home.

I am so proud of her and it is so amazing to see the desire and determination just steam rolling out of her. This little girl is going for the knockout!

Awakening the Beast

2011-07-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

The dark haired little girl sat perfectly still in her chair as a small river of golden nectar trickled down her chin. Still silently, her large black eyes got even larger and blacker as she sunk her teeth in the juicy flesh of the innocent peach. Warm on the outside and cold on the inside from being freshly blanched and skinned, explosions of new, intense, and wild flavors burst forth with every bite.

There was no turning back.

Transformed from a small, quiet, docile girl into a peach crazed, wild eyed beast! Screeching, clawing, flailing, anything to bring the delicious peach back with in her reach. Formerly nearly mute, the child let loose a cacophony of growling, gawing, mmmming, and yeahhhing.

Now she rests in her lair, gorged and full of juicy peach flesh, mmmming herself into an afternoon reprieve. Every once in a while she will lick her lips and growl.

Run little peaches, run while there is still time! I know a soft little pastry shell where you can hide;-)

Update

2011-06-29T15:36:00.000-07:00

Got the results of my biopsy today. Not good and not bad. The cells they were able to remove showed the presence of a suspicious lesion. They cannot confirm whether or not it is cancer, not enough of the right type of cells were harvested. So that means surgery to remove this nodule at the very least. I haven't talked to the surgeon or my doctor yet(she is on vacation until Tuesday) but from what the nurse was able to explain to me they will remove the nodule and, while I am still under anesthesia, biopsy the whole nodule to determine if it is cancerous. If it is cancerous they will then remove the entire thyroid. If not, I will be good to go.

I am sure I will find out more after I talk with my doctor and surgeon. I am just glad (and relieved) to have at least some useful information. Now I can start doing useful things like getting my schedule in order to prepare for surgery (now there's something to worry about!!). I will try to get the surgery done as soon as possible because then I am that much closer to recovery.

On a funnier note, I kind of felt bad for the nurse when she called me back (I had called and she had originally told me I wouldn't be able to get my test results until the dr. came back on Tuesday). Just the fact that she was calling me back so quickly gave it away for me - lol. Poor lady was more upset trying to break it to me that I was going to need surgery and that I might have cancer than I was. I am sure she is used to dealing with slightly more emotional and hysterical women. She kept asking me if I was o.k. I probably sounded abnormally upbeat to her, but I was! I was glad not to have to wait until next week and the news wasn't terrible. I almost feel like I need to call her back and make sure she's o.k. - lol!

That's all for now, folks!

Off Topic

2011-06-27T16:10:00.000-07:00

Generally this blog is meant to be about Lily and our adventures with Lily. But tonight I am going to use it to explain myself, mostly because this is the easiest route to reach so many of you that I care about and that care about me.

Over the last couple of months I have been on a crusade to figure out why I have been so stinking tired and worn out lately. To make a long story short the crusade led me to an endocrinologist who discovered I have an enlarged nodule on my thyroid. This is very, very common, especially in women. However, as with any enlarged nodule found any where in your body, it must be checked for cancer. I had a biopsy done this morning I will find out later in the week what the results are.

Mike very lovingly told me tonight that my attitude toward this whole ordeal may seem to others to be cold, uncaring, or seemingly unresponsive to the threat against my mortality. He held a mirror up for me to see myself as others may be seeing me, and I have to agree with him, that I am probably not clearly communicating my thoughts and feelings in a way that allows others to understand how I have come to deal with this. In most cases I haven't been communicating at all and this will be the first most of you are hearing of this.

If you were to ask me how I feel about this my general response has been "It is what it is." or "There's nothing to worry about until I get test results.". That's it, end of story.

Seems simple and straightforward to me. But apparently this isn't the reaction most people are expecting.

Let me begin by saying there have been so many times in my life when I have wept and cried and worried and wailed over things I was afraid would happen. And they never did. Then again, sometimes horrible things happened and I was entirely unprepared. This resulted in me feeling cheated out of my entitled to moaning, wailing, and gnashing of teeth - NOT!

I didn't feel one bit cheated. Over time I came to realize that the real cheating and stealing that was going on in my life was happening when I would spend countless hours, days, and weeks worry over things that I couldn't do anything about.

When Mike got sick, oh so many years ago now, I realized that every minute that I had him in my life was precious and that if I was going to have him for 6 more months or 60 more years, I didn't want to spend that time constantly worrying and fretting.
Now don't get me wrong, I still worry and have anxiety about all kinds of things every day. I am not some super woman who has everything under control. But I know who does. God has a perfect plan for my life, He sees the future, He has everything under control.

Have you ever had a passenger in your car start freaking out because they thought you, the driver, were going to hit or run into something? But because you were in the drivers seat you had a vantage point that they did not so you knew everything was going to be o.k. I am the passenger in this car ride called life. I have no idea where I am going or how to get there, but my Driver knows and I trust Him completely. The unexpected places He has taken me so far have been incredible and breathtaking. The route He took to get me to those places were not of my choosing but I would not undo one single twist or turn. What more amazing and incredible places might He take me if I quit trying to grab the wheel away from Him?

Psalm 62: 5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my might rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

It is very, very doubtful that I have thyroid cancer. But even if I do God has a plan to use that in my life in some amazing way if I just let Him.

For those of you who feel better with statistics, 80% of thyroid nodules are non cancerous. Thyroid cancer is curable by removal of part or all of the thyroid.

Forgive me if my responses seem short, cold, or irreverent. They are not meant to be. In addition my clinical, practical, pragmatic approach to this situation, I very uncomfortable with being comforted, especially for something that I don't think I need to be comforted over. I appreciate the support of all my friends and family, but don't expect me to come cry on your shoulder right now. Not enough information yet. In the mean time I am just planning on loving every minute with my precious daughter and awesome husband, friends, and family.

Love, Jennifer

CCAI Reunion 2011

2011-06-18T16:05:00.001-07:00

We have been looking forward to our first CCAI reunion for a year and a half! Today was the big day and it was sure worth the wait.
We have been here in Colorado since Thursday evening visiting with the Stroh's. What a great time getting to meet their other two boys (Caleb and Gabriel) and just hang out and reconnect/compare notes about the past 20 months. The girls (Elizabeth Grace and Lily) had an awesome time together. Elizabeth Grace is just a month older than Lily.
Today at the reunion, along with the Stroh's, we also met up with the Grippo's and Salsmans'. The girls in our four families are the closest in age of all of the kids from our travel group. We may have to name them the Firecracker Quartet or something along those lines because this group of 3 year olds is something else (I know, Keesa isn't quite 3 yet)! What amazing transformations they have all gone through.
Mike and I also had a chance to finally meet face to face some of the people from CCAI who played a major role in making Lily's adoption possible. What an awesome group of people!
It is hard to explain the bond that takes place among a group of total strangers when you go through the "birth" of your children together. We may not have a single other thing in common with each other, but we were together for some of the best and worst days of our lives for 16 days on the other side of the world. We are blessed to count every single one of them as part of our family. Wish all of you could have been there today, but you were certainly in our thoughts and conversations!

What a difference a year makes!

2011-06-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to look back at the past year and all of the changes that Lily has undergone. From a little girl who could hardly sit up on her own to one who is sits proficiently, confidently, and is rapidly moving through crawling to standing and walking. From a little girl who was startled and distressed by any unusual or unfamiliar sound, who was silent in any group setting, to a little girl who is finding her voice and the confidence to use it.
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

New Doctor, New Adventures

2011-05-29T06:55:00.000-07:00

To say we have been crazy busy around here would be quite the understatement! It is the peak of bridal season for me in the shop, Mike has had people coming out of the woodwork with automotive projects, and then we decide to switch pediatricians for Lily.
Switching doctors in and of its self was not really a big deal, but combine it with everything else and new tests and more appointments makes for a little bit of craziness:-)
So why switch doctors now? Well we weren't exactly unhappy with our old doctor, but we weren't really pleased either. She was adequate, I think, but Lily was never really "sick" in the typical sense of the word. The little contact we did have with her was for basic well baby visits or to have her refer us out for Lily's club feet or hearing issues. We never consulted with her for therapy because Lily qualified for therapy though Wisconsin's Birth to 3 program. But Lily is going to be 3 in a few short weeks, which would mean that we would have to go to our doctor and request continued therapy for her, much more than is typically allowed per year through insurance. And we just didn't feel like this doctor would fight for Lily to get her the treatment she needed. So we said good bye and found a doctor who would fight for any and all treatments Lily might need.
Our good friends Roy and Kari found this doctor through one of the specialist's their daughter Mei sees at the UW Children's Hospital in Madison. He is awesome!!! He specializes in internationally adopted children and children with special needs. It was very obvious that he had extensive experience with children like Lily who come from difficult backgrounds. The questions he asked and the interest he showed in what we knew of her past told us that he knew what he was doing. He immediately ordered a whole battery of tests on her thyroid, liver and kidneys because he is concerned about her continued low weight even as she eats 5 full meals a day. She is still below the 3rd percentile for weight. He also referred us out for a genetics consult just to make sure we are not missing some weird or rare syndrome.
He also gave us strict orders not to discontinue any therapy what so ever and told us he will sign off for any and all therapies that her therapists requests. Yeah! We were really afraid that once Lily turned 3 that we would have to cut back and slow down or lose the progress that we have made so far. And she can keep her same therapists which will be awesome for her.
So far all of her blood work has come back normal. I think we are still waiting for a couple that will be back next week. The genetics consult is scheduled for August - I am looking forward to that, I have always been fascinated by genetics.
All I can say is it sure is nice to have a doctor who is so intensely interested in your child - we have some one who is a partner with us now who will advocate for her medical needs.

Momentous Day!!

2011-05-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

Our little girl who can't even talk or walk yet(although she is working mightily at both) has decided that she wants to potty train herself. For about the last month already she hasn't been wetting at night. At first we thought it was a fluke but it soon became obvious that as soon as we would open up her diaper in the morning she would visibly push/grunt to relieve her bladder. She was sick of peeing in her diaper. She also started getting very agitated at different times during the day, which we have come to discover is her way of trying to tell us she has to potty.
So we started working on the sign for potty with her and just this weekend we got her a potty chair of her very own. We sat her on it a few times with her clothes on just so she could get used to sitting on it and she did very well. She has been on it a total of maybe 4 times with her diaper off. She has been rather puzzled by the new routine, but I just sat her on it for the heck of it before I got her dressed for the day, and what do you know! Lily peed on the potty!!! She was loving all of the praise:-)
I am not sure where this will go from here. We want this to be entirely positive and driven by Lily's desire, not ours. She continues to amaze us everyday. She maybe can't walk yet, but she sure is letting us know there are other things she can do and she is going to do them!

My Favorite Day

2011-05-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I get to celebrate being the only thing I ever really wanted to be - a Mom.
Long awaited and most cherished. Thank you Lord for the most blessed daughter a mother could ask for.

Starfish

2011-03-29T19:03:00.000-07:00

It was Lily's last day of swimming lessons today!! Her first report card and graduation all in one. She is officially a Starfish:-) And to top it off, it was her best day ever in the pool. She was relaxed and enjoying herself the whole time which hasn't happened before today.
For those of you who are wondering about her awesome green suit, we decided to invest in a wetsuit for her after her first lesson. The poor girl was so cold after her first time in the pool that she was literally turning blue and she wouldn't straighten her arms or legs. We found this company that makes kids wetsuits that are adjustable and will probably last her several years because it can expand as she grows. It made a huge difference! Hope you enjoy the videos!

Little Things

2011-03-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

Lily had a week of awesome progress so I just had to share. Of course progress in Lily's world is marked in what, to most of us, are very small increments. But these seemingly little accomplishments are huge for her and have taken such incredible effort and determination on her part.
To put this in proper perspective let me just say that she had a horrible week in therapy last week! Lily who never cries about anything and hardly even complains cried through both of her physical therapy sessions to the point that I thought her therapist(Kelly) was going to start crying. Normally she is great for Kelly. We were all puzzled and worried, trying to figure out what we were doing wrong. Was she in some kind of pain, were her ears bugging her, her teeth are all in now so it shouldn't be that.....we had no idea what was wrong.
I could tell, when Kelly came in Tuesday morning, that she was nervous and worried about how Lily was going to do. No need to have worried. Lily blew us away. We have been working with Lily since last summer to help her figure out crawling. Well Tuesday all of the pieces finally came together. Now before you imagine her crawling across the room like a typical toddler, scratch that idea. She has come up with her own way of doing things, this may have been the source of the dramatic meltdowns last week! She wanted to do what we wanted her to do, but in a different way that felt safer to her.
Rather that getting fully up on her hands and knees Lily has devised several other options for propelling herself around the room.

The Frog - she will bring her knees up under herself just enough to push herself forward, sometimes coming almost full height on all fours, but not quite.
The Lever - this one is weird - sitting up with one leg bent and the other straight she will push off with her straight leg for leverage and scoot forward.
The Gymnast Scoot - this one is just crazy - sitting with both legs out in front in a really wide V, she will press into the floor through her heels and lift her butt off the ground several inches, somehow managing to inch forward?!?!?

Basically what we are theorizing (since Lily can't tell us) is that even though Lily has made great gains in strength she hasn't fine tuned the control of that strength yet. It would be kind of like driving a car that only had two speeds, dead stop or 90 miles an hour. That would be scary!! Up to this point we, without realizing it, had been asking her to go drive around town in that car:-) Being the smart girl that she is, she resisted until she could show us a safer and smarter way to get around town until we could get the car fixed completely. Because she doesn't feel like she can control her body in the traditional crawl position she has made her own modifications that allow her to move forward but still feel safe.
All of that isn't even the biggest little accomplishment she made this week, though. The biggest accomplishment for her has been finding the motivation/desire/inspiration, whatever it is, to want to move forward. To realize she doesn't have to stay where she has been put and that she can want something and fill that need herself. Tonight she was playing on the floor with her toys like she always does, but she realized she didn't want to play anymore and that she wanted Mike's attention. She left her toys and scooted over to where he was sitting in his chair and started batting his leg until he picked her up. Such a tiny little step forward yet I can only imagine the gigantic shift that is going on in her little brain, for her to realize this is a different world than where she came from. The world she was born into didn't allow for her basic needs of survival to be met, let alone wants, wishes, or dreams.
I think that over the coming days and weeks we will see a new, stronger, more vibrant, more expressive Lily than we have ever seen as her discoveries really start to sink in. To watch the transformation in her spirit is utterly amazing. We are so blessed that God has seen fit to allow us to be part of something so incredible and breathtaking.

2011-03-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

Lily-an at 2 years 8 months

Everyday Improvements

2011-03-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

At least it wasn't 3 months since last post! With everything going on I am surprised I remembered this. We (all 3 of us) are doing great. Jennifer has been getting busy in the shop. I have been working at my shop. The Healey will keep me busy through the summer. Most importantly, there is Lily-an. She is doing great. She is doing more and getting her strength. After the cast was removed she had no interest in wanting to crawl. She would just sit or lie down. Now, it is the opposite. She isn't crawling, but her strength/endurance is improved greatly. With her therapy sessions we have been working on strength and fine motor skills. Both, very important to crawling. She is on all 4's a lot. When we support her, she will go side to side but not forward or backwards. We have noticed her strength in her hips is weak. She gets a little wobbly. That is getting better though. Her legs are getting stronger and she loves to stand up. She sits very well and is well balanced. She sits on our knees with her feet on the ground and she will play that way for awhile. She really enjoys that. Her speech is doing great. She talks a lot now. Mostly for us. She is shy around others and doesn't say a lot. I should say, her talking is all kinds of noises. We are hearing more consonants sounds from her. She laughs and giggle a lot. Her non verbal communication is very good. She "tells" us when she wants more, when she is done and keep going. Her interest level in things going on around her is very good. She is aware of people, she looks up when you say her name or when she hears something. So much has improved lately. The little things that we are seeing are milestones. We enrolled her in a beginning swimming lesson course at the local gym. The first 3 times were not so good. We noticed a lot of anxiety. Other kids screaming, laughing seemed to upset her. We weren't sure what to do. One thing that we did notice is she was cold. She would latch onto us and wouldn't let go. She was so tense we couldn't get her legs straight. We knew this wasn't a good thing since we didn't want her scared of the water. We figured we would end up dropping out but then we started to talk about it and thought about a wetsuit. Do they actually make them that small we thought. Well, they do make them that small and even smaller. We located a company out of California that made them and ordered her a bright lime green one. It is adjustable so she can grow into it. We also ordered a headband that covers her ears. When we were reading up on the information provided on the website it was evident that little ones get very cold and get cold easily. Makes sense with Lily-an. There is no body fat on her. It came a fast 2 days later and the next day we ventured to the gym to try it. Let me say that some kids have absolutely no respect for others around them. That 10-13 age of kids. Kept bumping into us and well..... enough of that. Frustrating. Lily-an did great. She wasn't cold anymore and wasn't tense. We were able to move her arms and legs in the water and she seemed like she wasn't as anxious as before. After about 30 minutes we decided it was time to go. Lily-an was tired and figured it was time for a nap. Went to lessons a few days later and she was relaxed and doing very well. Then came the surprise when the instructor said it was time to "dunk" the kids. I was watching from the chairs and Jen was in the water with her. I didn't hear the instructor say that. I was watching Jen and Lily-an and all of a sudden under she went and out she came. Somewhat startled look on her face, rubbed her eyes and she was fine. Momma was more apprehensive than anything, I would have been too. Lily-an was playing with a beach ball and it went well. Lily-an was actually kicking her feet at the end and started to laugh. It was a good day. And, she was warm! Can't wait to see what comes out of her during the next classes. As the class was ending she started to kick her feet and actually was laughing. What a good thing. There has been so much change in her lately. Tonight we went out for some fish fry. She likes fish. One thing she has been doing a lot and that is grabbing at her food dish and pulling it towards her. Another one of those non verbal communication things she does so well. Well, tonight at dinner, she put her hands in the mashed potatoes. So then Jennifer took her arm and guided her fingers to her mouth and what do you know, Lily-an put her fingers in her mouth with food and sucked off the potatoes. I about fell out of my chair. We have been working on that for quite some time. She has such an adversion to putting her hands to her face but she proved me wrong. She did this a number of times tonight. I think it is time for things to get messy. We are going to start putting food in front of her and letting her go at it. Maybe that is why she has been grabbing at her food dish. She has been trying to say she can do it herself. Who knows. Something so minor, something we take for granted and don't even think about is such a huge deal for us. That is so important to her development to do that. That shows right brain/left brain communication, spacial, depth and more. We were so happy to see. Then she starts to laugh and giggle about it like she was saying "I told you I could do it but you kept moving that dish away from me". It will be interesting. She is growing and weighs about 22 lbs now. She eats anything you give her. Loves fish, yogurt, refried beans, Her hair may need a trim now. Will wait until it gets warmer out. It is growing and getting thicker. Maybe if we cut it a little it will grow like a weed then. Well, another week is gone. Lily-an is sound asleep and it is past my bedtime. Keep us in your prayers and especially Lily-an. God is doing such great things with her. I do believe God is putting in on our hearts about adopting another. That is still a few years off, but it is there. Every now and then we go to our agencies website and look through some of the pictures/information of the special needs children and they just grab you by the strings and pull. If we could, we adopt them all. So adorable. I don't know how we have been doing as well as we have been. Somedays we are so tired and wore out. We want to put as much as we can into Lily-an and make sure all her needs are met. I think Jennifer and I kind of let our needs go for each other at times. This isn't healthy. I have been trying to relax more. I have cut way back on EMS as I felt my stress level getting out of hand. I feel better now. I sleep better at night and I try to take time to relax. It has helped. I know God is sustaining us and giving us the strength to do what we do. 5 or 6 therapy appts every week plus our "jobs". We always do our best so both of us are with Lily-an during her therapy and doctors appts. Rarely, do either one of us miss. All I know is that I (we) can't picture our lives any differently than they are now. Take care everyone, God Bless.

Where did the time go?

2011-01-27T19:31:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it was Thanksgiving since our last post. Hard to believe that was 2 months ago already. With everything going on for Jennifer and I we sometimes don't know what day of the week it is. Well, since the last post a lot has changed. For the good I might add. Lily-an finished her series of casts and had surgery on December 6th at Childrens in Milwaukee. She also had tube put back in that day since the first set had came out. They only lasted 6 months or so. Not really sure on that. The surgery was to help lengthen the achilles tendon. This is a very simple and short procedure. Her incision was about 1/4 long and that was it. Unfortunately, she had a cast put back on and she had to have it on 4 weeks. This was to allow the tendon to heal properly. Between both procedures she was gone about an hour. We were able to leave for home around noon that day. She recovered well and had no side effect. We started to notice some changes in her regarding her speech. It was long after the tubes that she started to vocalize more. She seemed much more expressive. Now that it has been 2 months since they were done there is a night and day difference in her. She is much more aware of her surroundings. She is very expressive if she is frustrated. She "talks" more. A lot of voice inflection. The tubes must have helped her hear. She is making more consonants now. We think her speech is coming along nicely. He left foot looks great. It has a much wider range of motion and the surgery was successful according the the doctor. She is working on crawling and so bad want to move around more. She get around quite well as it is but she know she can do it better. I think crawling is around the corner. We are noticing that when we try to help her, you can feel her legs wanting to move but her arms don't want to yet. She is getting stronger and her arms and shoulders are doing much better. She is determined. Sometimes I wish I could have her determination. She is strong willed that's for sure. Right now we have therapy 5 times a week and every other week, she has one more session where the coordinator comes and checks up on Lily-an's progress. They all have said she is doing very good and progressing very well. Once that cast came off at the beginning of January, she really started to move around. The cast kind of kept her in one spot making it difficult to move but once it was off, watch out. He did gain a little weight so that is good. Today she weighed in at 21 lbs 5 oz. She has gained about a lb since surgery so that is good. She eats like a horse and will eat about anything. Her chewing is getting better. Probably in part to all but one of her teeth coming in. We really don't think about it, but her muscles are weak also in her mouth, jaw, her tongue, cheeks, etc. They also need to build strength to help with chewing and talking. She is chewing food nicely and her muscles are building. You can tell when she gets tired of chewing. She eats whatever Jen and I eat. That is good. We don't have to mush it up any more. We just cut it into pieces that are the right size for her now. Easier for us. We still have to feed her but we have been working on that too. She now takes the spoon and will bring it to her mouth and feed herself. We just help guide it to her mouth. If we don't, she plays with the spoon and drops it. Than Oscar, our dog, gets to have some treats! He doesn't complain. He waits patiently under her chair. She hold her cup now and will drink out of it then put it back down. We help her hold it and bring it to her mouth and she does the rest. There have been so many changes the last few months it is hard to keep track of them all. Everyday is an adventure and we love it. Yes, we are tired a lot more. Sleep is precious for us. Lily-an will sleep 10-12 hours a night. Sometimes wake up at 4am laughing and playing, but give her a bottle and she is soon out, sometimes. We think we figured that out, she is hungry. We feed her a snack before bed and that seems to have worked. I don't know of many children, let alone, anyone else that wakes up with a smile on her face and is laughing and giggling. That is what we get to experience everyday. What a joy it is to share in her happiness. That makes everything worth it. No matter how much we are tired, sick, rundown, whatever, that smile and laughter makes everything else go away. Yes, we are busy. Most of our day is consumed and disappears because of what we are doing with Lily-an, therapy, drs. appts., whatever, but, we will not trade it for the world. We don't have a lot of time to ourselves or really with each other anymore, but that is life and that is what happens when children come into the picture. Especially one that has some needs and you have to be there for her all the time. I don't take anything for granted anymore and I doubt Jennifer doesn't either. Our life is our daughter in a way. We love doing it. Parenting is a responsibility and we can't take it lightly. We would not go back to our lives before we got Lily-an. We both say that. Life was good before, but empty in away. It isn't empty anymore. We do almost everything together as a family. Both of us are with her during her therapy, unless one of us in on an EMS run. We schedule our days around Lily-an and what is going on with her. It is so much fun watching her grow. She is blossoming in so many ways. It won't be long and she will be crawling and moving about. That will be sooner than later. Looking back over the previous year and everything that has happened, going on, whatever it may be has been a whirlwind. Days go by fast and time does disappear. But, we wouldn't change it for the world or want it any other way. (maybe the next post will be sooner than 2 months) God bless everyone, keep us in your prayers for strength, wisdom, serenity. God is good and we owe everything to him. He keeps us grounded and gives us strength when we need it. Most of all, He is working through Lily-an. She brings joy and happiness to everyone she meets!

A Thankful Day.

2010-11-25T05:52:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe that today is Thanksgiving. That means winter is coming and the way it feels outside I would say it's close. We have had a very nice fall. Warm temps, a lot of sun, little rain. Until this past week. I think all that nice stuff is gone for now. Started thinking about Thanksgiving and what it means. Think back to the original settlers who started it and why they did it. Then I started to think about what I am thankful for this year. I am not a sentimental person or anything like that but I do reflect on a lot of things. I thank God for this past year first and foremost. I try to thank him daily so this is nothing different. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, some food in the pantry and a few other things. I am thankful to be a father. I have a beautiful daughter who has taught me so much. I would never go back to life before her. Some people may look at us wonder why did we adopt a daughter with special needs. You had a choice, you could have had a "healthy" child. Well, God didn't have that in mind for us and if we had chosen to stay in the traditional program, we would still be waiting. Even with all the appointments during the week and the recent trips to Children's in Milwaukee it is all worth it. She brings so much life and energy to our house. She is rarely sad or unhappy. The smiles and her laughing can make anyone laugh no matter how they are feeling. It's hard to believe that a child with a very rough start in life has that attitude she has. I am thankful for that ray of sunlight she brings. Jennifer and I both agree that life is so much better now. That one piece that was missing for so long is no longer missing. Life is full of blessings everyone. Sometimes they are hard to see but they are there. I am thankful for a wife that puts up with me. I am a stubborn person sometimes. Must be that Norwegian in me. She loves me no matter what. We have been together over 20 years now. :) So thankful that Lily-an is growing, developing and doing so well. She is a strong willed child just like her Chinese name means. Who would have thought. So much to be thankful for this year. So much has gone on it feels like a whirlwind at times. But still thankful everyday that God has blessed our family so much beyond anything we could have imagined. I don't know how we do it somedays but we do. Thankful God is there to guide us through. Sometimes we have to make decisions, thankful that God is there to help with that. Thankful for a great year. Thankful in advance, good or bad, for the year to come.

A prayer for Lily-an

2010-11-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how fast this past year has gone. I haven't blogged anything since we got home. I know Jennifer has been doing it but I haven't. She seems to do a better job at it than me. Today was a rough day. It was hard for Lily-an but also Jen and I. We knew going to Childrens today might be an upsetting day for her. Anytime a doctor has to look in Lily's ears or mouth, it is a struggle. She flat out does not like it. Well, after our last ENT visit in July the doctor recommended that she clean out Lily's ears. We opted not to because we knew it would upset her but also we had an appointment to get her legs casted for braces and didn't know what to expect and figured it would be too much. The casting went ok but she was upset which we expected, not bad though. Today, I had kind of had the feeling it wasn't going to be an easy day at the clinic. The nurse practitioner looked in her ears and said there was wax and she couldn't see the tubes clearly and thought they had come out. There was also dried blood. Not such a good thing. Well, she said she would have to clean the wax out so she could see. Oh boy, was that rough. Lily-an was one very mad child. She was pissed to say the least. The NP could only get a few small pieces of wax out and wasn't able to see a whole lot more. Lily-an was making noises we had never heard before she was so mad/upset. She had no bones telling us either. The NP prescribed a ear drop medication to help soften the wax and clean up the ear canal. We go back in 2 weeks for a follow up and we pray the ears are cleaner so she can see the tubes and ear drums. There is a possibility that Lily-an will not need tubes put back in if the ear drums look good and the fluid is draining like it should. We have to put drops in her ears twice a day she said. Well, 30 minutes later she was still upset. She was telling us what she thought of that. It is hard to hold your little one down like that. She doesn't understand and we can't explain it to her to help. It is just something that has to be done. I am guessing it will be done every 3-6 months now. I don't think we will have a choice. Maybe it will get easier.
Tonight went well. She fussed only a little when putting the drops in and then was her happy self. Then off to bed.
As for the ortho doc, he said there is a possibility that she won't need to have the surgery after the casting is done. If the foot stretches enough then she may not need it. The good thing is we talked with ENT and Ortho and they would be able to the 2 surgeries at the same time. That would be nice. It would be easier on Lily-an. Both surgeries would take 5 minutes total. Very quick to do. I am asking for prayer for Lily-an. We know God has his hand in all of this and is doing wonders in Lily-an we get to experience everyday. Pray for the doctors, pray for Lily-an that she wouldn't need either surgery - yes, we do believe in miracles, pray that Lily-an is comforted through the whole ear thing and the next 10 days with the drops. In 2 weeks that the ears are clear and the fluid is not built up behind the ear drums requiring tubes. She is one tough child. She will take it all in stride and if the surgeries are required, we will do it because we know it is best for her. Last but not least, pray for us the we have the wisdom to know what to do. Peace is always good for us. It was a stressful day for us.

Another First

2010-10-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

Well, this wasn't a first that we were expecting to record today, but what parent is ever expecting to bring their child home in their first cast? Luckily no broken bones are involved!

Lily had a standard check up with her orthopedic doctor this morning to check the progress of her feet. She has been wearing new braces since July to help correct her foot positioning and to stretch her achilles tendon. When a child is born with club feet, basically the achilles tendon is to short/tight and this causes the foot to curl. The tighter the tendon the more severe and debilitating the condition becomes. The standard treatment is to have the infant wear a series of casts that increasingly stretch the tendon and then to maintain the position achieved by the casts by having the child wear braces at night until they are old enough to walk(Lily had this procedure done in China). Once the child is walking the weight of their own body will keep the feet properly aligned and the achilles tendon lengthened and they will no longer have to wear braces.

In Lily's case the casting/braces worked well on one foot but not on the other. Normally a child her age has been weight bearing on their feet for quite some time. Lily is not and that is probably a contributing factor to her left foot reverting to its old position.

Now in addition to the series of six casts that she will wear over the next 6 weeks, she will under go surgery to lengthen her achilles tendon. It is hard to have to put her through this, but this is something we have to do now otherwise we are risking her future ability to walk and run and play. The older she gets the less and less flexible and malleable her joints and tendons will become.

Lily has taken this all in stride. Not one single complaint out of her so far. Thankfully we only have to do the one foot. She is such a trooper!

Connections of the Heart

2010-06-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

As Lily ushers in her second year of life I can't help but think about how different her life is today compared to her life in China. Even as she makes miraculous strides in development, in many ways they serve as a stark reminder of just how extremely deprived and damaging her first year and a half of life really was. Something as simple as walking underneath a canopy of trees is a stunning and delightful experience for her. Yet with all of the new and beautiful things and experiences at her finger tips, she still withdraws to her private, personal shell (though less and less). And while it may seem like every parent's dream to have a child the rarely if ever cries, for me, it is a gut wrenching reminder that humanity proved to her early on that crying does no good and no one cares anyway.
Our little flower is getting stronger and healthier every day, but it will take a long time and constant, intense care and love to help her set her roots deep to give her the stability she will need to bloom in abundance.
And in answer to the many unspoken questions and concerns - yes we know Lily isn't doing all of the things normal 2 year olds do. No we are not oblivious to her delays, nor are we glossing over them and hoping they will just go away. I think many people are worried that we are simply blinded by love and don't see the reality of how significant her delays are - rest assured we know. What we do have is a strong and deep faith that God will help Mike and I help Lily reach the full potential the He has in mind for her. I don't even try to imagine what plans God has for her, because if I try to do that with my limited imagination I might unwittingly inhibit a potential that is beyond my comprehension.
I hope this posting doesn't seem heavy and depressing because it isn't meant to be. Lily is such a tremendous joy and blessing. Every day she teaches me new things about love, life, strength, determination, and above all else, faith and hope. The scripture that we started this journey with is even more true and fitting today than it was then: Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

I cannot see the future, but my hope rests in God who brought about the miracle of this little girl in the first place and took us on the most amazing journey to unite us as a family.

New Month, New Adventures

2010-03-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Can we really be in March already?! Time gets screwed up when you have kids I am finding:-) It feels like just yesterday that we brought Lily home, and at the same time it feels like she has been with us forever.
Lily is changing so fast we can't even keep track of all of the progress she is making on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. She is getting so strong and she is really beginning to develop her own personality. She is sweet and quirky and a little goofy.
What can I say - we are so blessed by God to have this little firecracker of a girl in our lives. I can't even begin to describe what it is like to watch God working so directly and evidently in our lives - in her life.
Thank you God.

Jennifer

Valentine's Day/Chinese New Year 2010

2010-02-14T18:49:00.000-08:00

Thought you all might like to see some pictures of a little girl who is blossoming into the most amazing little personality. I think it is pretty easy to see the difference from the pictures at Christmas time to the ones we took today.
Two weeks ago Lily had tubes put in her ears and the advance hearing test done that tested her brain stem response to sound (ABR test). Once again God has answered our prayers and shown us His amazing power of healing and restoration. Her hearing test came back with 99% perfect hearing. They are going to watch her right ear because at the very lowest tones there was a questionable response but they are fairly certain that is because of the considerable amount of wax that was in that ear in combination with having the tube inserted that was causing the questionable reading. Even if there is a small amount of hearing loss at the lower level it is not anything that will cause her any kind of impairment - most of you who have ever spent any time listening to rock and roll probably have more impairment than she does:-)
It is so easy to watch God answering prayers for this little girl because it is so easy to believe that she deserves to have these prayers answered. But God loves each and everyone of us just as much as He loves her and He wants to show us that, if we would just ask Him to come in to our hearts.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " James 1:17

Jennifer

Praise God!

2010-01-20T04:50:00.000-08:00

A lot changes in the course of 6 months! Last May/June we were looking at the file of a little girl who was stealing our hearts with her smile. A little girl who we were told had serious hearing loss and serious developmental delays and possibly mental retardation. We prayed a lot. God is this the little girl you have chosen for us? God are you sure we can handle all of these medical/developmental problems? What if she is too broken, God? What if we don't love her the way you do? We can't see the future, God, but we can see all of the big and scary what if's, so what if? We can't see where this is going God!

Back to the verse with which we started this journey:
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

We could not see the beauty and purity of spirit that we have come to find that our Lily possesses. We could not see the inner strength she carries in her thin and delicate frame. We could not see her determination or her boundless joy and enthusiasm for life. We had no assurance of healing for her delays and physical difficulties.

Yet we hoped and prayed for all of these things.

On Monday Lily went for her hearing test. Not only can she hear in both ears, and pretty well at that, her hearing will be dramatically improved with the simple procedure of having tubes placed to remove fluid build up in her middle ear - a common problem that so many children have. She does have considerable fluid build up, and has probably had that most of her life. Because of her age and how long she has had difficulties the doctor will also do a more advanced, thorough hearing test at the same time as her tube placement to pinpoint exactly what she hears and the quality of that hearing. At this point it looks like any hearing loss she will retain after the tube placement will be minimal!

Lily is daily growing in strength and in personality:-) To think that we could possibly have missed the beauty and wonder of this little girl is an unbearable thought! Thank you God for giving us the faith we needed to trust in your plan for us and for Lily.

Jennifer

More Pictures

2010-01-11T11:16:00.001-08:00

I especially love the picture of Lily with her cousin Parker:-) Lily seems so tiny and delicate, but look how long she is next to 3 year old Parker?!! She would be almost as tall as he is if they were standing up - LOL!!

Time Flys!

2010-01-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are, nearly the middle of January already! Wanted to get a few pictures up from the holidays so here they are. Lily sailed through the craziness of Christmas without missing a beat.
She is continuing to gain strength and size. We weighed and measured her at the end of December and she had gained 2 1/2 pound and 2" in length since the end of November!! She sleeps 12 hours a night and takes a two hour nap almost every day. She eats like a horse, pretty much every two hours she needs food. I guess I would eat everything in site and sleep the rest of the time if I was growing that much too:-) She is at a total of 18 lbs. and 31". Of course she still looks like a string bean because she is growing in length so much, but she has definitely filled out.
Looking forward to meeting with the Ear/Nose/Throat specialist at Children's hospital next week for an evaluation of her hearing. Anxious to hear what they determine her hearing abilities to actually be. Other than that Lily is just plugging away at her physical, occupational, and speech therapy every week. She has a more complicated schedule than we do! - LOL
Enjoy the pictures!

Poem

2009-12-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

From Dear Abby's column today, a request for a reprint of a poem that had appeared in her column before:

The author, Edna Massimilla, wrote it after her daughter -- a child with Down syndrome -- was born.

I have always found its message to be very moving and, when I spoke to Edna, she told me it was written to emphasize that every creation is for a purpose. She's in her 90s now and still writing poems and songs -- especially for children with disabilities. Read on:

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.

It was time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the Lord above --

This special child will need much love.

Her progress may be very slow,

Accomplishment she may not show.

And she'll require extra care

From the folks she meets down there.

She may not run or laugh or play,

Her thoughts may seem quite far away.

So many times she will be labeled

'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.

So, let's be careful where she's sent.

We want her life to be content.

Please, Lord, find the parents who

Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away

The leading role they are asked to play.

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith, and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given

In caring for their gift from heaven.

Their precious charge, so meek and mild

Is heaven's very special child."

******************

While we feel quite confident at this point that Lily will overcome all of the delays and difficulties she is currently facing, this poem gets to the heart of why we decided to take a "risk" on a special needs child. After three years of agonizing waiting and frustration God showed us that we were actually the ones with special needs. That we had hardened our hearts to His beautiful and wonderful creation. Once we allowed Him to repair our hearts we were finally able to receive the precious gift He had in mind for us. Lily is exactly what the poem says "so meek and mild" and she is most definitely "heaven's very special child." We are extra special blessed in understanding that God guided our path in such a way as to allow us to choose this little girl for our very own, simply out of the faith and love He put in our hearts.

Lullabies and Laughter

2009-11-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days have really seen Lily coming out of her shell. She went from being a nearly silent baby to babbling her fool little head off the other night. I can't even give an adequate description of the transformation we are witnessing in her. I will give it a shot, though.
Lily is rightly named for a flower. When we got her she was a tiny little transplant. She was long and spindly like a little plant that was growing and growing but had no sun to make it strong or nutrients to sustain its growth. She was wilted without water and no roots to anchor her.
We have spent the last few weeks pouring love on this little wilted girl and we are so blessed by God to be able to watch her come to life.
As the days and nights have gone by I had been searching for the right song to use as a lullaby. Lily - in spite of her supposed poor hearing - definitely responds to music sung to her. She doesn't really respond to music on the radio, but if you sing to her you get her attention. The right song came to me the other night. I just sing the chorus because it pretty much says everything I need it to say. I sing it as a prayer for her and a prayer for me, and it is such a beautiful picture of adoption.

Bind us together
Lord, bind us together
with cords that cannot be broken

Bind us together
Lord, bind us together
Lord, bind us together with love.

Info. Update

2009-11-11T06:07:00.000-08:00

A lot of people have been asking so I wanted to let you all know that Mike and I are planning to stop at Target and Sears tomorrow and register. I think we are finally starting to get a handle on what we need and what Lily is going to need, sorry all of this has been in reverse order, but that's just the way it works with adoption I guess:-)
Also, Lily's full name is Lily-an Xiao Hua Thoreson. We know it's a long, slightly complicated name but we really wanted her to be able to retain her Chinese name. Xiao Hua is pronounced like sea-yeow wa and means "little flower". I sure she will hate us when she starts kindergarten and has to learn how to spell her name, but oh well, parent's perrogative.
We are starting on our 5th full day at home and things are going well. Lily seems to be adapting quite well. I think it will take her a coupe of weeks to realize that this setting is permanent. We did so much traveling and moving around in China, every few days there was a dramatic change in scenery for her. So the longer we are at home the more I think she will relax and come out of her shell. Overall she is a very content and peaceful little girl. She also seems to be quite a serious thinker. Her little eyebrows come together and she just has this intense look of concentration when she sees or hears something new. Yes, she is hearing things and seems to be hearing more everyday, which is amazing! We are very anxious to get her evaluated and find out exactly what is going on with her ears.
Oscar (our 4 legged baby) is adapting to her very well and has already established himself as her protector. She is pretty indifferent to him, but she will smile when he licks her face.
All in all, we couldn't ask for a better transition from travel to home.

Jennifer

Home at Last

2009-11-08T10:44:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning here in beautiful, sunny Wisconsin!! It is so good to be home. We survived the 14 hour flight from China - Lily seemed to handle it the best of all. She hardly made a peep the whole flight. We even managed to get a good night's sleep the first night home. Spent the day unpacking yesterday and trying to figure out what "routine" and "normal" are going to look like for us now.
It was so wonderful to come home to chili in the crock pot and fresh cornbread, a stocked fridge, and a table full of gifts for Lily-an. Thanks to all of our wonderful friends who made our home so warm and comforting to come home to.
To all of our China friends - we hope you all made it home safe and sound. We look forward to hearing from all of you in the days and months to come, and seeing all the kids blossom.
Lily seems to be adjusting well. I am totally amazed by how easily she has adapted her sleep schedule. She loves the fresh air - we went for a short walk in the sunshine yesterday and she was very animated and excited. I have to say I love the clean fresh air myself, after all the smog in China, it is a much welcome change.

Jennifer

Coming Home!!!!

2009-11-05T18:26:00.001-08:00

Yes, we waiting to board our flight. We are at the Hong Kong Airport and will be boarding within the hour. We are ready. This trip has been very trying in many ways. It has drained us physically and emotionally at times. I don't there is anyway to plan for it. You just have to go through it. We did, we won the race and now we are coming home with Lily-an. She is doing great. We can tell she is stressed and anxious but she is holding in there. It has been trying the last few days for her but we work through it and keep going. We know we are in for challenges when we arrive home. It will be very unsettling for her. It will require time for her to adapt to her new surroundings. The good thing about that is we will be familiar with it and we will be relaxed and we hope she will pick up on that. We are looking forward to seeing our friends and "family" in Mayville. We probably will be spending the first few days sleeping and adjusting and hopefully Lily-an will adjust to the different hours. There has been so much that has happened on this trip. Don't even know where to start. The blogging was only part of what the trip was like. We hope it gave everyone reading it a peak into our trip. Jennifer and I experienced a lot. We felt like fish out of water. The food got old and we didn't have an appetite the last few days. Here at the airport, we each got a sandwich and it was good. The coffee wasn't even all that good but it worked. Starbucks would get to expensive if we went everyday. All in all, it was experience that we enjoyed. Would we want to do it again, at this time - no. We may change our minds in the future but right now, no. Well, this is the last blog of the trip and of the adoption. We don't know if we will continue the blog or not. May start a new one. We will keep everyone informed as to what our plans are. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank everyone for everything they have done for us during the last 4 years. Yes, 4 years. Hard to believe. The support has been fantastic from so many people. First we thank our Lord for guiding and sustaining us during the good and bad times. We owe everything to him first. Second is our family and friends. We have so many friends that we don't know where to start. Our families have been great. Even if they do live 500 miles away, they have done a lot for us. God is good.

Last Day in Guangzhou

2009-11-04T04:15:00.001-08:00

One last update before we leave for Hong Kong tomorrow afternoon. Today we had our consulate appointment. Very quick and simple. They verified who we were and then after that everyone took an oath and that was that. We are done, literally. One more night here then one is Hong Kong then back home. We are doing ok. We are ready to come home. Lily-an is doing great. Again, improvements everyday. We will take whatever she will give. She is our little trooper. That is it for now. Will try to post while in Hong Kong when have a few more minutes. We are getting all packed and ready tonight that way tomorrow we don't have to worry about it. Take care everyone, until next time.

Only A Few More Days

2009-11-03T00:48:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone. Everything is moving along. We are enjoying what time we have left- well, the best we can. We are bored and ready to come home. Not even the food is good anymore. Doesn't matter if it is Italian, a burger or whatever, we just want to be home. To have our own kitchen or our bed. Lily-an is doing good. She is doing better and better. We are having fun with her. She is a happy baby, unless you don't feed her. We are at a Starbucks right now. At least the coffee is good. Today our reps took all of our paperwork to the US Consulate and everyone is good to go. Tomorrow we go to the consulate and take an oath. I don't know what it means but that is tomorrows only thing. Then on Thursday we get Lily-an's visa and then after that we fly out to Hong Kong at 4pm. We will spend the night there and then fly out late Friday morning. Now it is just wait to leave. We are finding things to do. You really can't do a lot in the hotel room and it isn't set up to live in. At least there are some tv shows we can watch. Not everything is in Chinese. Today we did the tradition of taking pictures on the Red Couch at the hotel. That was fun. All the babies, families and then the group. Most children did great. It was fun. That is what the pictures are of. Lily-an is bonding well and we are seeing improvement everyday. She is smiling more and more. Our little bundle of joy. She is a blessing. It is so peaceful to watch her interact, watch her sleep. What an experience. We are both blessed to experience this. She is bringing us so much joy. I don't think there is any words that can express any of it. It has been a treat. We are just enjoying visiting with other families here. It is fun to see all the little babies and children here. We don't feel like the white elephant in the living room like we did in Beijing or Zhengzhou. Very friendly here. We bought a stroller the other day because our backs were getting sore from carrying Lilly-an in the carrier. She calms down and really enjoys it. We figured if it lasts for the duration of the trip, that is fine. She is happy in it. She even fell asleep yesterday in it. Yesterday we went to the Pearl Market. It took us about 1/2 hour and realized it was time to go. To much pressure to buy things and how do we know what is real or fake when it comes to gems or stones. Everything look real but is it. You walk in to a store and there are 3-4 people offering and trying to sell you. You tell them no and even more people come to you. We had enough. So we walked out and headed down the street to a department store. We were able to buy pj's for Lily-an. She did good. After a few hours out, we took a taxi back to the hotel and enjoyed the day. We are doing well and look forward to coming home. Until next time. Take care and enjoy the photo's

Another Nice Day!

2009-11-01T04:16:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone. We had yet another nice relaxing day here. The temperature was cool with a nice breeze. Feels real good. Must be the cold from coming in. Now we will be about 80 during the day here for the remainder of our time. We just relaxed today. Did some shopping. Sat by the riverfront at the hotel. No complaints here. Lily-an is doing great. She was calm all day. Took an afternoon nap and she was good to go. She is tired and is getting ready for bed. Has only been getting up for a brief time during the night now. She is feeling more and more secure. She knows she will be fed and it will be enough to fill her up. She loves ice cream. Yeah, they have ice cream here and she will insist that she gets it if we get a cone or an apple pie with ice cream. And don't try to short her. She knows when the plate is empty. There isn't any fooling her. She is getting stronger and stronger everyday. She was able to hold her head up today and is doing great. We are doing some simple exersises with her and some strength training. She likes it and smiles and laughs at it. We try to make it fun. She has been our ball of joy. She likes getting a bath before bed. Tonight she was getting one and all of sudden there was this rumble like thunder and the bubbles started to appear. It was quite funny and smelly. It seems to soothe and relax her to give her a bath before bed. Tomorrow we are going to go to the Pearl Market. They sell real pearls, gems, silver and other precious stones. They are very inexpensive. We thought we would go. Get a chance to get out for a few hours and sight see. Guengzhou is about 12.5 million people. It doesn't seem like it where we are at. Kind of secluded and quiet. It is a nice way to end a long trip. We will be finishing up the last 2 appointments we have over the next few days with the US Consulate. So our schedule is really light and it gives us time to enjoy here. The hotel is nice and quiet on our floor. There are many adoptive families here so it is kind of neat seeing all of them. We will get to take our picture on the infamous red couch. That will be all the babies in our group. Should be interesting. It is kind of a traditional thing they do. I had best close. My battery is about dead on the laptop so take care everyone and talk to you soon.

Hello From Guangzhou

2009-10-31T03:15:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Guangzhou last night- flight was late. We got to the hotel about 10pm and that was way to late. The flight was 1/2 delayed. Lily-an did great until about 15 minutes before landing. We got a supper during the flight of rice and potatoe with bun, vegetable and a pickled something or another. You should have seen Lily-an. You ever seen a fish flop on the ground wild and out of control, well that is the best way to describe Lily-an when she saw the white rice. She went nuts. All we could do was laugh and of course, give her white rice. She was all over the place. This went on for about 15-20 minutes. Oh, and don't even think of taking it away. She would have nothing of that. So, we didn't eat, but she did. She took the flight well. Nothing like a bunch of sardines in a can. It was so packed tight it was uncomfortable. The flight was about 2 hours. Long enough. Other than that 2 hour mess, we are doing great. The weather is about 90 degrees with about 75% humidity. They are talking of a cold front coming through in a few days so the temp is supposed to drop to the low 80's. That will be a nice temperature but they say it's going to be cold. The air is better and cleaner. Still can't drink the water. Bottled water gets old after a while. We are looking forward to washing our own clothes and drinking out of the tap. Laundry is expensive in Beijing and Zhengzhou. Here it seems to be less. There is competition among local business so there is discounts. Still, we will be spending about $100 on laundry. I won't complain, other families will be spending 2-3 times that amount. It's those little things we take for granted that we miss here. We are enjoying it though, however, we are ready to come home. I can't believe there is a Papa Johns here. I think we will be having some pizza tonight. There is an American restaurant where we can get a burger and fries, an Italian restaurant and even a few 7-11 stores. Very touristy here but at least if we need something, we can get it quickly. Everyone is very friendly. Here at the White Swan Hotel there are many families who are adopting. I quit counting. Today we had to go get a physical, part of the process, for Lily-an and it was crazy busy. I think there were 50 adopting families there. All these children. What a treat. It went quickly. We were in and out in under an hour. It's kind of a cya thing they do. Make sure everything matches up. Lily-an was a trooper. She has been adjusting well. We are fortunate to have a nurse midwife in our group and we have been able to ask her some question and get opinions and she has been very helpful and only has confirmed out thoughts and questions. We are on the right track. Lily-an is coming out of her shell today one again and is bringing us much joy and happiness. We are seeing little changes from a week ago that are wonderful. She is playing with teething rings where as a few days ago she had no idea what to do or even pick them up. Now, she plays with them and more. We borrowed them so we will have to return them but it is helping now and she is playing. She is starting to giggle and laugh now. Even a little is great. She is more focused and tuned into us now. Sorry, no pictures to post but should have some tomorrow or the next. There is a really nice park next to the hotel so we are planning on going over there tomorrow. So much going on and so little time to write, so, had best go. Take care and check back later.

Heading Out

2009-10-29T21:48:00.001-07:00

Today is our last day in Zhengzhou. We are ready. The last few days have been wonderful. Lily-an is adjusting well and we are to her. She is "talking" today and is smiling more and more. She enjoys being held. We are giving her as much holding time as she wants. She tells us when she is done. It is a pretty big miracle we have here. We are just starting to fully realize that. The more and more time we spend with her the more she lets us in. She is starting to come out of the shell. Zhengzhou has been interesting. The people we have met have been very friendly and they speak and understand English. That is nice. It is time though. The next few days will be busy in Guangzhou. Paperwork for the most part. Start with a physical tomorrow and then just doing some paperwork everyday until Tuesday. After that 3 days of relaxing and then back home on Friday. That is the week. The last 3 days have been good. Most of the children are doing very well with their new families. Some of the adults and few of the children have gotten sick. Jennifer and I haven't. We have been careful of what to eat and only drink bottled water. A 16 oz bottle of water is about $2.50 here. We were lucky and able to buy 1.5L at Walmart for about .40. So that worked. Everything you drink here is expensive. Water or Soda. Then they always take 15% for a gratuity on everything. So far this week including laundry and some meals here our bill is about $140. Not bad from what I have heard others have spent. There is no laundry mats here. If you want it done, you have to have the hotel do it. It cost about $6 for a pair of Jeans. That is one thing we will be very happy to do at home. We miss it. All is good otherwise. Time to finish packing. Our flight leaves about 8pm local time and we will be arriving in Guangzhou about 10:20pm tonight. It might be a difficult night for all the little ones. Don't know what internet is like in Guangzhou so the postings may be slow. It was free here but do not know about there. Take care and will post again soon.

Mike and Jennifer

A Relaxing Day

2009-10-28T05:39:00.001-07:00

Today was a relaxing day. We spent most of the day sitting around and spending quality one on one time with Lily-an. We saw her come out of her shell today. We had her giggling and smiling. She was happy and content with us today. Spent a lot of time with eye to eye contact with her. She really is full of life. We just have to work on bringing that out. A little bit at time is great. We will take that. Everyday will be better and everyday she will let us in to her world. She has that spark in her eye now that we saw in her pictures. She did not want to take a nap today so she was out by 7pm. We hope she sleeps most of the night. Last night, she had us up for about an hour. She settled down at about 3am and slept until 7:30. That was nice, that meant we slept until 7:30. We have completed all paperwork here. It is nice to have the next few days to relax and spend that much needed quality time. Tomorrow we will be walking to a park that is about 5 minutes away from the hotel. It is nice and quiet and will be a nice way to spend a few hours outside with Lily-an. We are looking forward to it. We are winding down from the day. Getting used to being parents. It is a good thing. We are truly blessed. Lily-an is showing and teaching us a lot. Today was a great day. She is starting to trust and feel safe with us. We know it is only a small step but it is starting. We know this process could take several weeks or months but today was a great day. She was smiling a lot today. Took her out for a stroll and she really was looking around. Looking at the trees, building, bikes and scooters going by. She seems like she is focusing in on things more than the last two days. It's great! Tomorrow will be a fun day. We will relax and spend that time that is so desperately needed. Until tomorrow, take care everyone.

It's Official

2009-10-26T22:17:00.001-07:00

Good day everyone. Well, today it is official. We did the adoption registration which finalizes her adoption here in China. The notary makes it official. It has been a very good day so far. Lily-an is sleeping comfortably and we are relaxing in our room. We are getting her schedule right and keeping her on it. She is doing well. She is bright, alert and always looking around. After the 3 1/2 hour crying episode during the night, today is going so much better. We didn't hear what she was trying to tell us. Now, we get it. She is content so far. We are very blessed. After 4 years it is finished. Now, a new chapter. As we sit and watch her while she is sleeping we realize how precious she is and how great is our God. He has fulfilled his promises. Some days we wondered, but we hung in there and it was worth it. All of it, is worth it. Today, we are going to a place called the Lotus Center. It is like a 3 story shopping mall. We would like to get a few things for the rest of the week. The Walmart that is 3 blocks away doesn't have a whole lot. It is definately not like the one back home. The thing I will say that is positive, the workers are very helpful and every 1 or 2 isles has someone there standing to help you find what you are looking for and they do speak some English. Actually, a lot of people here speak some English. Better than Beijing. The smog is no better and we have been advised of what to expect after we get home. We have been told that Guangzhou is not any better. We leave for there on Friday night at 8pm and arrive a little after 10pm. We are done with all paperwork here so that gives us 3 days to bond and relax. Had best close. Have a great day everyone!

Long Night

2009-10-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it's about 5:00 a.m. here and we finally have a happy baby! She did fall asleep fairly early last night, around 8:00, but was up again at 1:30 a.m. and not happy!! After 10 or 15 minutes we figured out she had a really nasty gas bubble, she was happy for a few minutes, and then she started her angry cry. You can tell what kind of afternoon I had yesterday while I was waiting for Mike to get back from shopping for formula and cereal for her - I already know her angry cry quite well:-p
Checked the big three - diaper, hunger, pain. Diaper was wet, so changed that, but it just pissed her off more. One in the morning isn't a normal feeding time, but her whole day was messed up yesterday so we tried a bottle - wanted nothing to do with it. She was not in pain, she was obviously very angry - I sure you will all get to know that about her soon enough:-) This little girl definitely knows what she wants and doesn't want - and last night she didn't want us! So lots of walking and rocking, walking, and rocking. She likes singing and humming -that calmed her down for a little while, but she refused to sleep, and she would eventually wind herself up again. Tried a little bit of cereal, and that just seemed to piss her off to, back to walking and rocking. By 4:30 she was pretty much inconsolable to anything and of course Mike and I are both beyond exhausted. In a last ditch attempt to at least try to do something, I tried giving her the cold cereal we had mixed up earlier. What do you know - she is actually a little piglet. The problem before was that we weren't feeding it to her fast enough!!! No playing around with food for this one. She is serious about her eating. She ate two bowls of cereal and topped it off with half a bottle of apple juice - which she wouldn't have anything to do with earlier. So now she's happy and back to sleep - so is Dad:-) Mike is catching on fast to the world of babies:-) I'm goint to try and catch a little sut eye now too. Later

Jennifer

No Words Right Now

2009-10-25T21:39:00.001-07:00

Enjoy the photos. There is nothing that can be put into words that describe this moment. Nothing. We have been blessed. God is good! We are humbled beyond any words right now. 4 years of hard work, 4 years ups and downs, 4 years later; we won the "race". We have our daughter in our arms. God, why did you choose us? Why do we deserve this precious gift? I don't think either Jennifer or I will ever know the answer to that question until the day we see Jesus. I don't think I can even begin to understand the "why". Thank you everyone for praying, thank you everyone for everything you have done. All thanks and praise to the Lord. Glory be to God. Check back later for updates. Time for some down time.

Waiting

2009-10-25T17:34:00.001-07:00

Soon, a family will be getting their child here in the hotel lobby. That will be an awesome event. They are excited. We are to. With two hours we will be in their shoes. We are eagerly waiting for it. We have everything ready to go. Just not ourselves:). God is in control. We are as ready as we can be. He is giving us a great gift today. Will ost again later. Check back, the next post will be with Lily-an.

Sent from my iPod

2 Days in Beijing

2009-10-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

We flew into Beijing at about 3pm on Thursday the 22nd. After being up for almost 30 hours and a 13 hour flight, we were exhausted. Met a few of the other couples and then disappeared to our rooms. Up at 3 am on Friday morning and ready to go. Had a good breakfast then at 9am we were off. Stopped a few smaller shops then we went to the Forbidden City. What a place. Had no idea of how big it really was. We only saw a small portion of it and we were there about 2 hours. There were droves of people. Too many for us. We enjoyed it and were amazed at the building and designs. Then, it was across the street to Tiananmen's Square. Spent a brief amount of time there. Got a rickshaw ride and all from a different part of Beijing. Went to a small village are within Beijing. It was called the Hutong. Interesting to see it. By then most of us were tired so we went for a bite to eat and then back to the hotel. Slept better the 2nd night but, we were up at 4am this time. Waited for breakfast and then it was off to a jade factory. Beautiful work, skilled people. Then, we all went to the great wall. That was neat. More people there than I could count. We climbed hundreds of steps and are feeling the effects yet today. The smog was terrible in Beijing and made it difficult. You can see that in the pictures. It isn't a haze but smog. Later on in the day, we went to Olympic Village. We the water cube and the birds nest. That was fun. Jennifer and a few of the other ladies stayed in the bus and talked. Again, we were exhausted but wanted to see it. What a place. Then, it was off for supper and then back to the rooms. Slept better, but up at 5 am this time. Each night is getting better. Today, we flew here to Zhengzhou. Staying at a beautiful hotel. 5 stars plus. Marble, columns, everywhere you look. Free internet so that is great. We are getting prepared for tomorrow. We are all meeting at 9:30 am and then it is off to the Civil Affairs office. We, along with most of the other families, will then pick up Lily-an. It will be a busy 2 days with a lot of paperwork to finish. Friday we head out. At least Thursday and Friday are two days we will be able to rest from the busyness of paperwork. We will get that much needed quality time with Lily-an. Tomorrow will be a big day. Will post an update soon with photo's of Lily-an. It maybe a bit overwhelming but bare with us, the updates may be delayed over the next few days. Check out the photo's from Beijing. Until next time everyone.

Count Down

2009-10-25T06:34:00.001-07:00

Hey guys!
Only a few hours to go. I can't even describe to you how this moment feels. Even to this moment it doesn't feel real yet. I did get a little bit of a shock when I came back to our room and found that the hotel staff had placed a crib in our room while we were gone.
All I can say about the trip so far is that the other families are the very best part of it. That is the only thing that has been off the charts better than I expected. Everything else I could really have done without. The youngest child in our group will be 11 months old and the oldest will be 5 years. There is only one other family that will be first time parents along with us. Their daughter is 4 years old and she also has hearing loss.
It is hot, hot, hot here and we aren't even all the way south yet! Glad we checked the weather before we left and packed summer clothes for the most part.
We miss you guys so much and we wish you were here to share this with us! We leave the hotel at 9:40 Monday (tomorrow) morning for the Civil Affairs office. Six of our total of 10 families (including us) will receive our children then. Please, please keep us in your prayers, especially for our health (all of us parents) and the health of the children because they are checking temps on everyone at the airports here.
I guess that's all for now. Tomorrow the whole world changes:-) Give my pup a squeeze - I miss my buddy:-(

Jennifer

From China

2009-10-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hi from China!!!!
Tomorrow is the big day! Can't believe it's here already. Things are going well. Feeling better after the initial exhaustion. The other families are awesome. Two of the other little girls are right around Lily's age. We get the kids around 10:00 a.m. Monday which will be about 11 p.m. Sunday night for you guys.
Alisha -Hope Friday went well for you. Hope you have been talking to Vicky:-)
Can't wait to get home and talk to everyone again! My phone bill is going to be horrendous for the first weeks I'm home just trying to play catch up with everyone.
Got some other emails to send so take care. Hope to post some pictures later tonight of the Great Wall and other things we have seen so far. We will post pictures of Lily as soon as we can.
Keep all of us in your prayers tomorrow. Also pray for our finances. Things are not cheap here at all. Everything is way more expensive than any of us were prepared for. Mike and I are doing o.k., but we have only purchased one "souvenir". Just our meals alone are going to take up most of what we set aside for spending money. All of the other families are in the same boat:-( That's o.k., though, we didn't come here for crappy souvenirs anyway:-)
Gotta go - gotta try and find some supper.

Jennifer

Here We Are

2009-10-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

We flew into Beijing at about 3pm on Thursday the 22nd. After being up for almost 30 hours and a 13 hour flight, we were exhausted. Met a few of the other couples and then disappeared to our rooms. Up at 3 am on Friday morning and ready to go. Had a good breakfast then at 9am we were off. Stopped a few smaller shops then we went to the Forbidden City. What a place. Had no idea of how big it really was. We only saw a small portion of it and we were there about 2 hours. There were droves of people. Too many for us. We enjoyed it and were amazed at the building and designs. Then, it was across the street to Tiananmen's Square. Spent a brief amount of time there. Interesting to see it. By then most of us were tired so we went for a bite to eat and then back to the hotel. Slept better the 2nd night but, we were up at 4am this time. Waited for breakfast and then it was off to a jade factory. Beautiful work, skilled people. Then, we all went to the great wall. That was neat. More people there than I could count. We climbed hundreds of steps and are feeling the effects yet today. The smog was terrible in Beijing and made it difficult. You can see that in the pictures. It isn't a haze but smog. Later on in the day, we went to Olympic Village. We the water cube and the birds nest. That was fun. Jennifer and a few of the other ladies stayed in the bus and talked. Again, we were exhausted but wanted to see it. What a place. Then, it was off for supper and then back to the rooms. Slept better, but up at 5 am this time. Each night is getting better. Today, we flew here to Zhengzhou. Staying at a beautiful hotel. 5 stars plus. Marble, columns, everywhere you look. Free internet so that is great. We are getting prepared for tomorrow. We are all meeting at 9:30 am and then it is off to the Civil Affairs office. We, along with most of the other families, will then pick up Lily-an. It will be a busy 2 days with a lot of paperwork to finish. Friday we head out. At least Thursday and Friday are two days we will be able to rest from the busyness of paperwork. We will get that much needed quality time with Lily-an. Tomorrow will be a big day. Will post an update soon with photo's of Lily-an. It maybe a bit overwhelming but bare with us, the updates may be delayed over the next few days. Check out the photo's from Beijing. Until next time everyone.

Update from Beijing

2009-10-23T14:52:00.000-07:00

The smog is terrible here. The traffic/people and everything going on seems a little overwhelming right now. Yesterday, we left at 9am and did not get back until 7pm. I think we were in bed by 8. A lot of walking. The vendors are persistant. Today it is off to the Great Wall. I think I will send an email with attachments tomorrow morning before we leave for Henan for an update. All is good. Sleep schedule is screwed up but we are getting "some" good sleep. Just don't like waking up at 3am. Makes for a long day.

Made It!

2009-10-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see we made it. Everything is Great!!! We are getting ready to leave in a few minutes for all day touring. The blog is blocked so we are unable to post it our selves. So we are sending Roy an email with attachments to post. Better go. Talk to you all later.

Mike and Jennifer

P.S. updates may be delayed so check the blog every few days.

Home Stretch

2009-10-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it's finally here. We leave for Chicago tomorrow morning to catch our plane to China tomorrow afternoon! It feels like we should have a lot more to do to actually get ready to make such a big trip, but everything is pretty much done. We managed to get the majority of our packing done last night. All we have left is to throw in the last minute essential stuff. Of course I didn't get to clean the house from top to bottom exactly like I wanted to, but oh well, it will still be here waiting to be cleaned when I get home. The dishes and laundry are done at least, and the fridge is empty so we don't have to worry about growing anything weird while we are gone:-)
So today the big thing on our list is going to the bank. The big thing on my list is getting a massage! I know I really need to relax.
The crazy thing is, that in spite of the place we are actually standing today - I am still facing the monster of fear and doubt. Until going through this whole process I never really understood how deep my fear and mistrust of God ran and still runs. Even after all of the love and good things God has shown us along this journey I am still afraid that He is going to leave me hanging at the last minute - that He won't keep His promises - that He doesn't love me. My brain knows that none of those things are true - I know that God is faithful and true and He keeps every promise. I know that He loves me so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for me. Mostly, I can't get my head around that kind of love, and all I know is I certainly haven't earned it and don't deserve it.
So the truth be told, I am a little shaky and fragile today, but pointing out the monster is half the battle in overcoming it. I am determined to let go of the reins because God is not going to steer us wrong now. God called us to this very day over four years ago and His word says it best:

1 Thessalonians 5:24
"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Stay tuned! Hopefully the next update we make is from the other side of the world!!!:-)

Jennifer

One Week From Today

2009-10-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

This time next week we will be in the air and on our way to China! I can hardly believe it's here already. How can that be after waiting so long and so impatiently that now things are moving too fast?! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to meet our daughter and hold her in my arms. I am just wondering what exactly we spent the last 3 1/2 years doing because we still have a million things to get done before we leave. The problem is that people keep asking me what we need or need help with and I have no idea!!! My mind is full and empty at the same time if that's possible. I think my hard drive is locked up:-) You know - the little hour glass symbol is spinning and spinning and nothing is happening. I am hoping that I can get a grip by this weekend, that once I'm done with work on Friday the cobwebs will clear.
Going shopping for travel supplies tonight I think. Off to find my husband right now and get a move on!

We're going to China!!

2009-10-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I haven't updated this since Sept.! Found out yesterday that we do indeed have other families in our travel group. Yay! Looking forward to meeting them and their children and hearing their stories. So much to do - so little time now! Back to work for the moment - trying to get a million things finished before we leave, but having a hard time concetrating:-)

Jennifer

Moving Forward

2009-09-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

One step closer! We got our fingerprints done and approved last Wednesday and while we were there we were able to put in a request for them to expedite the paperwork. Because the final piece of paper we need before we can get our travel dates is the all important I-171H which is issued at a later date - basically whenever immigration gets around to it. The way things were trending with our local office, it was taking 3+ months for them to process the I-171H after fingerprints.
After almost a week of not hearing anything back about the expediting process we decided enough was enough and called our congressman. That was on Wednesday and they said we would have a call back yesterday, which we did not get, so Mike called again today, but the lady was out of the office. With in 15 minutes of him leaving a message for her we received a call directly from the head "Orphan Officer" in our local immigration office. He just needed to verify that we had indeed paid for our processing fee and he said he would be processing our paperwork this afternoon or Monday! That should put the I-171H in our hands sometime early next week. Yeah! As long as we get that by next Friday our agency said we will most likely be traveling Oct. 14th. We will be traveling with a group of 8 other families as it stands right now.
A few more days of wait and see, but we are so much closer now! What a difference a day makes. I was pretty down yesterday about the lack of answers and just frustrated with the whole system. But I guess if we didn't have all of these delays and discouragements along the way there wouldn't be any reason for God to show up. And show up He has all along the way. So many times I didn't think I could go another day, and He would show up with exactly what I needed to keep moving forward.
When I chose the name of this blog I did not have any idea how accurate it would be. We have had to walk by faith every step of the way, never knowing timelines, resources, who, how, where, or why. All I can say is every single step has been worth it. Painful, uncomfortable, scary, crazy, exciting, wonderful and horrible all at once. I wouldn't change a single minute of the last 3 1/2 years.
Thanks so much for all of the prayers they have helped to get us this far. Don't quit now - we still need all of the prayers we can get. Tune in next week!:-)

From a Fathers Perspective

2009-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I last posted. Probably too long. It's kind of hard to post on a blog when there is really nothing new to report. As you can see (read), a lot has changed. It has changed fast, it has changed scary, it has just changed and I don't think I want it to go back. Really, take a hard look at everything that has happened in the last 4-6 weeks of our lives. The emotional toll, the physical, the uneasiness, the highs and lows and everything else. All for a child that so wants a family, she just doesn't realize it yet. And, for a couple in the middle of Wisconsin that so desperately wants children. Hell, one would be enough. Just to experience the joys, the downs, the excitement of a child. A dream that is coming true. Oh, to be a dad. To hear "Daddy". What more is there in life than that. Really, when it comes down to it, does anything else really matter? No, but don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that do matter and I probably can't put my finger on everyone, but are they really that important as raising a child? I am kind of the salty and crusty kind of guy. I have this hard outer shell that is really tough to get through. Well, that is what I am told. I look at my past and things that have happened to me and the things I have done and it all makes sense. I think this little girl is cracking the shell and we don't even have her in our arms yet. God works in such mysterious ways and I don't have a clue as to what they are. Jennifer and I were given a rare gift last week from our agency. They sent us a link of 5 videos of Lily that were taken on Sept 1. This is just something that doesn't happen that often from what we understand. Talk about heart wrenching. First, let me say this out of love to all, but don't ask to see them. Jennifer and I decided that they will remain with us to view with Lily when the time is appropriate. It is something we feel is best. Don't worry, there will be plenty of video and pictures when we get her. Some we will share, some we won't until Lily has viewed them first when the time is right. God gave us a confirmation that day. It is all coming together now. It has taken almost 4 years but it finally coming together. You look into her eyes and you see the soul, her spirit. There is so much life in those eyes. It will be my responsibility as a father for her to live her life and do what I can for her. To care, to nurture, to teach her, to raise her to love the Lord God. Most fathers don't realize the responsibility but it is one that we have. Of course there is the responsibility of the parents to raise a child together and that is all good and well, but, there is a responsibility of the father for raising a child. Some people may not agree with that, but it is true. I have no clue how to raise a daughter but I think I will be learning everyday. I don't even know how to change a diaper-that is the first day. There is so much life in those eyes. To bring you home. To be able to give you a good life. To be able to help you live your dreams. To give you the necessities of life: food, shelter and clothing. To share our Love with you. See you off on your first day of school, high school, college. Walking you down the aisle for your own wedding. To be able to experience that with you and everything in between. To be there for the down times in your life. We will always be there. We will not be perfect parents. That is impossible. But, we will try to do our best. That is our promise. You will hate us at times, you will love us most of the time, and then there will be those times when..... Just so you know, you have a place that will always be there. That will never change. We hope and pray that Lily will build her life on that same Rock as we have. The Rock of Christ. Having children is one of the greatest gifts God can ever give a couple. It isn't the top, but it is up there. We have experienced the greatest gift and that was the gift of life that was given through the death of Jesus on the cross, the gift of eternal life. That is the best. Now we get to experience some of the other gifts. Soon we will be bringing Lily home. Lord, we completely and fully trust you with everything that is going on. With the fingerprinting, with the travel arrangements, with the financial burdens, everything. You are in control. You have not let us down through this process. Yes, you have been there and everything has worked out for good. We may not have liked it, or not have expected it a certain way, but it has always worked out. Your way has been the best, I see it now more clearly than before when I look into Lily's eyes. I see so much more clearly now. You have put a face, a life, to everything that has been going on for the last 5 years. You have answered our prayers. We see it now, we see it now. Praise you Father, praise you. You are good. Yes, you are good. Thank you for everything your are doing and everything you have done. Protect Lily Father God, keep her in your arms until we can have her in ours. Let her know we are coming soon. We will not quit. We are coming. We will be there soon. Keep her safe Lord. Thank you Lord! All this, from my perspective which is blurred sometimes and then it is crystal clear. The love, the emotion, the sacrifice, the late nights. Whatever it is, it will all be worth it. Oh, to be a dad. A dream, a promise, a journey that is ending and another that is just beginning. To hear, Daddy...........

Pray Hard!

2009-09-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

We need everyones prayers this week! Wednesday is our fingerprinting appointment with immigration. First of all pray that our prints will be accepted - their machines can be very fussy if you have the tiniest cut or nick on your finger pad your prints can be rejected. Second of all pray that we can get through to someone who can get us the piece of paper we need (the I-171H) immediately or as close to immediately as possible. The way this works normally is that the prints are sent electronically to the FBI and the FBI responds back electronically approving or denying our prints. The actual approval or denial happens very quickly. Then the approval notice sits on someone's desk at our Milwaukee immigration office until they get around to generating the the piece of paper that is the I-171H, that states that yes we are cleared and approved. THAT IS ALL WE NEED!!!! That single piece of paper and we are on our way to China! So pray hard for the people in the immigration office, that the right person at the right time would be available to us and have a heart soft to our situation. Jennifer

And the Wait Goes On

2009-08-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

Just waiting now for our fingerprint appointment scheduled for September 9th. Found out today that we may be able to get in earlier than that, but will have to wait and see. It also sounds like we will be able to secure our I-171H quicker than we first thought so that is good news too. There is even a remote possibility that we could still travel sometime in September! What a roller coaster!
Other than that we are busy finishing all of our remodeling projects. Alisha and Josh came down this weekend and helped us gut the bathroom and replace the tub and sink. Alisha painted Lily's room for me - it looks much more like a bedroom now that the new sink and tub are out of there and where they belong:-) Thanks guys, you are awesome!! Mike spent the day working on the ceramic tile surround. Looks like it will probably take him another couple of days, but it is looking good.

It's Officially Official!!!

2009-08-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

We were supposed to be packing to leave for a weekend of camping this morning, but nothing was going right. Our week had been crazy busy and we hadn't had a chance to look at any of our camping supplies or get any groceries and on top of that a huge wall of rain was beginning its march across the state. Mike in particular had been looking forward to this weekend since early this spring. It was not just camping, but a car show and camping! Plus, Oscar is still recovering from his surgery. And I have tons, and tons of work in the shop. And Mike has a car he has to get finished for a customer. And Mike got paged out for an EMS call at 8:00 a.m. Get the idea?

So after grumbling to each other about how much both of us wanted to get away but nothing was going according to plan, we decided to call it off. Sleeping in a soggy tent didn't sound like fun to either one of us. I tried to cheer Mike up by saying "Maybe God has a really good reason He wants us to stay home."

About an hour later I check our email and we had an email from our agency saying they had received our LOA or "Letter of Acceptance" from China. They wanted to know if they could Fed Ex us the paperwork so we could get it and sign it tomorrow. They also said they expect us to travel in the next 4-6 weeks!!!!!

The countdown is on! I think once China gets our signed LOA, then they issue our travel dates. Please keep us in your prayers! We still have to get our fingerprints done, and you know how government agencies can be. So much to do and suddenly we have so little time, but we couldn't be happier:-)

Lily-an's Name

2009-07-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

I just realized that Mike didn't update the whole story on how we came to the name Lily-an. As he stated, her name came to me in a dream early last July. I had a dream that I was holding our daughter and calling her by name. Then I actually had to write her name down in the dream, which was rather odd and memorable, how often do you write something in a dream? The name I was saying and wrote down was Lillian. I didn't share the dream with Mike right away. I just kind of tucked it away. At that particular time I was struggling to keep my hope and faith alive. I didn't want to share it right away because I was afraid Mike might not like the name and that it would dash the little piece of hope I was hanging onto, that the dream was God's little burst of encouragement to me. But the next Sunday after the dream I just felt God urging me to share the name with Mike. So during the middle of the service I whispered to him "I think I know our baby's name" and passed him a slip of paper with Lily-an written on in. We had both discussed that we would like to give our child an authentic Chinese name. Lillian was not very Chinese:-) So I changed the spelling to Lily-an. At this point, however, I had no idea what the Chinese ending "an" meant. Flowers are very symbolic in Chinese culture, but I didn't know the particulars on the lily either.
Needless to say Mike liked the name. So after church I got out my Chinese name book and started looking up the meanings. I decided to choose a Chinese symbol to represent Lily. There were many types of lilies that had different meanings, but I settled on the Morning Star Lily which symbolizes strength and determination. "an" can mean either peace or white and I thought those were both appropriate as well. Then comes the kicker. I wanted to know what a Morningstar Lily looked like (the gardener in me) so I Googled Morningstar Lily. But instead of a bunch of horticultural websites, the first listing was a Chinese name. You can't imagine the goose bumps I felt when I opened the page.

http://www.guanweixing.com/ychildgal2/ymshandandan.htm

The second listing was also a Chinese name. All I could think of after I listened to the song called "Morningstar Lily" is that God just gave me a glimpse of our daughter's personality. Light and full of joy.

http://www.last.fm/music/Lei+Qiang/_/Morning+Star+Lily

After going through some of the darkest days of this wait, that dream and those two websites confirmed in my heart that God still had his hand in all of this. Now we had a name, and I remember telling Mike that maybe this means our daughter has been born. When I had that dream Xiao Hua would have been about two weeks old.
It is incredible to look back and see how perfectly God has directed every part of this journey.

At Long Last!

2009-07-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

The update everyone has been waiting for! We have been matched with a darling 13 month old little girl. Her Chinese name is Xiao Hua. We have had her American name picked out for over a year now (see previous post). It is such a blessing to finally be able to put a face with her name - Lily-an. Her Chinese name actually means "little flower", God's signature on what has truly been a remarkable journey!
Now a little more waiting must take place before we can finally bring her home. It will be two to three months before we will travel to pick her up. Right now we are waiting to get our fingerprints taken for the 3rd and final time (thank goodness). After that is completed we will just be waiting for our travel date assignment.
It is truly difficult to express the jumble of feelings that we are both going through right now. Of course joy and excitement, but also a surreal disbelief that this is finally, really going to happen! Suddenly so many things to do and so little time! We were not expecting to be matched with Lily, we thought she had already been matched with another family, so we were surprised when our agency contacted us to see if we wanted to look at her file. We were prepared to continue waiting into sometime next year according to all of the wait time lines.
But God had a different plan, and when God puts a plan in motion nothing can stand in His way. Many of you have witnessed and shared our struggles through this time. Now we have a testimony to give. This is the what we have been waiting for, more importantly, WHO we have been waiting for. We are so glad God gave us the strength to persevere. All of the tears, anger, discouragement, and frustration were worth it. He has proven Himself faithful and true. We know the truth in our hearts of Philippians 4:6,7 which reads:

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

We cannot claim to have carried out God's instructions perfectly. There were many, many days of worrying and thinking that God must not be hearing our prayers. But God fortified us with just enough faith along the way, that no matter how long the wait was dragging out, or how hopeless and endless it seemed, He had a good plan and a good purpose if we would just hang in there.
Now we know the peace of God. The peace that God has given us confirms in our hearts that Lily-an Xiao Hua is indeed the daughter He promised. We are also confident that whatever needs she may have, He will give us the wisdom, strength, and ability to provide for her.
We would just ask for your continue prayers. We will hopefully be making more frequent updates as we get closer to travel time.

It's Christmas, but still waiting

2008-12-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas day now and still in the same spot as before. Really don't know anything except they are slowly moving along doing matches. We do know they have matched through the 3rd week of February 2006. At least they are in 2006. However, March 2006 was an extremely busy month with large numbers of dossiers coming into the Chinese gov't. Whatever it is, we are moving along. The only really bad thing to come out of this is that we will need to be fingerprinted again, and this time we will have to pay for it to the tune of $750.00.
On another note; it is Christmas 2008 and we are waiting still. Both Jennifer and I are at peace with it at least but still waiting is difficult. We know it is close but it is like you can not touch it, just out of your grasp. We just keep reminding ourselves that God is in control. We figure this child he has for us will be something very special for us. As I reflect through this Christmas season I keep coming back to a part of scripture in the book of Luke Chapter 2. This is what it says:

Simeon Sees God’s Salvation

25 And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon, and this man was just and devout, waiting for the Consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. 27 So he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, 28 he took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said:
29 “ Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace,
According to Your word;
30 For my eyes have seen Your salvation
31 Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples,
32 A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles,
And the glory of Your people Israel.”

33 And Joseph and His mother[a] marveled at those things which were spoken of Him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary His mother, “Behold, this Child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which will be spoken against 35 (yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

When you read this, your first thought maybe, what does this have to do with waiting or Christmas or whatever. Well, first, it has to do with hope and a lot of it. Read it again. You see Simeon was told by the Lord that he would not see death until he saw the Christ child. Some scholars estimate that Simeon could have been 200 years old when he saw the Christ child. How many years do think he had to wait to see the Christ child so he could die and go to heaven to be with the Lord. Every time he went to the temple, he wondered if today would be the day. And if it wasn't, which was most of the time, he would have to wait for another day. Never knowing when it was supposed to happen. Same for us, we don't know what day. We know it coming, but we have to wait upon God and his timing. Simeon had to wait. You see Christ came into this world when he was needed most. Simeon faith had to be great and trust in the Lord that he would fulfill his promise to Simeon. Simeon knew that it would happen, but when. And when it did happen, can't you see how glorious it was. He could now die and go be with the Lord. Think of it this way, what if Simeon waiting 20 years, how about 40 years, maybe 75 years or longer to see the Christ child. All he knew is that it would happen because God made that promise to him and that was it. Didn't tell him when, how, who the parents were, anything, just that it will happen. Talk about faith, talk about hope. We need to have that same faith and hope in God that it will come, when, who knows, but God will come through. No matter what it is, he will come through. We know this is what he wants for us, so we must remain faithful in him for it.
Imagine what would happen if we started to try and take this into our own hands. It's like I heard on pastor say "we take the nails and boards and try to build it ourselves because we are too impatient to wait. Just doing it. Well, do you think that it would turn out pretty good or do think it would have turned out better if you waited, taken your time, waited for God. God can build anything better than even the best master craftsman here on earth. He is building it up in us. That is something we can not do. He is our Lord and he can be yours if you ask Him. As we go through this Christmas season, remember Simeon, remember God's promise and he never goes back on what he promises. We just need to keep moving forward, even when it is difficult to do. If it isn't today, maybe tomorrow. Hope, Faith, Love all are powerful and comforting. With out hope, what do we have. Just another day. With out Faith, what do we have, nothing. It all means nothing. Without Love, what do we have. Pride, self centered, egos, etc.... But with God.... Merry Christmas to all our family and friends this blessed Christmas!!

Lily-An

2008-07-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

The name. After 2 1/2 years we have a name. We haven't really been thinking or talking about one yet, this name came to Jennifer in a dream. We both believe that it came from the God and it was his way of telling us he is in control of this process. He is still with us and walking with us. Even though the time is getting drawn out, we are still holding on to Him and giving it over to Him. He is still blessing us through this process. Now we can feel--somewhat--complete. It is a hard feeling to describe but now that we have a name, it just feels right. The only concern I had was, what do we do if it is a boy or we get twins or something like that. We will cross that bridge when we come to that. Neither one of us feel like we have to be concerned with that as God has already given us a name for our child. I will update this post soon with the meaning of the name, Jennifer is researching that now. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We are starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. It is still several months away, but we are trusting in God through this. Our faith is growing stronger through this and we are feeling at peace with the process. We thank God more than ever for this adoption. Check back soon for an update on the meaning.. until then, take care everyone.

Still Hanging In There

2008-04-26T04:11:00.000-07:00

It has been a few months since last post, ok maybe many. We are still waiting and waiting. The time line for a match has increased by a few months. That was not expected but then again, it has been happening since the beginning. It is what it is. We keep holding onto our faith in God to see us through this. We know he has a plan and his plan is best for us. That is sometimes hard to understand at times. We are doing well. There have been some changes in our lives in the last 6 months. Jennifer and I made a very difficult decision last fall to leave 5th Ave UMC. With the current leadership it was not a place for us to be. God was calling us away from there. We knew it was time. The hardest part of it was leaving our church family. So many members came along side of us to help with the adoption. We held on as long as we could. That was difficult. We have a deep sadness for the body there. Unfortunately it has become a seeker friendly church. The leadership is not good and not biblical in the teaching. This is what we felt. We did not want to offend anyone or upset anyone by leaving so we only told a few of our close friends and left peacefully. Now that it has been 6 months since we left, we realize it was the best thing. We have been attending a few chuches locally and what a great thing it is to worship. We still have our membership with 5th Ave and are unsure if we will keep it. We are just taking it slow and listening to God and where he wants us. We feel we can never repay the people who have helped. I can tell you this and that is we won't forget. We still talk with our friends from time to time. At this time, we will not return unless leadership changes it direction or leaves. We can not support a church where worldy ways are accepted and biblical truth is not taught to its fullest. I have a feeling God will deal with that on his time. People are leaving and since one pastor is leaving and they are not going to fill that position. That is unfortunate. To all at 5th Ave, thank you, we will not forget.
We had to get new fingerprints in February because our other ones expired. Can you believe it has been 18 months since we were last fingerprinted. No problems this time. In and out in 15 minutes. It was flawless. Now they are good for another 18 months. Hope they don't expire again, then we will have to pay that time. This last time was for a one time extenstion and there was no cost to us.
There are some changes going on with fees while in China for adoption expenses. Some fees are going up. I have a feeling it will be more than we had originally planned with air fair increasing plus the orphanage fee increasing. This was the $3000 that went directly to the orphanage. It has been said the fee could increase to $5000. There in no confirmation of this but we have heard that $3500 is not unlikely by the time we go. Will have to wait and see. We are not worried about it. The CCAA has matched through beginning of January 2006. That is good. They are into 2006, only 11 months to go. We know we made it through the review room. That is the last "approval" we needed. That is like the final look at everything. All is good for now. God will see us through it. We just need to keep trusting him. All thanks and praise go to him.
That is what is going on in our world of adoption. We are hanging in there. Looking forward to Spring and Summer. It was a long cold winter here. We will keep you posted if something changes.

New Years Eve Dance

2008-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

I have to say that the New Years Eve dance was a blast from the past. Check the pictures. It was a good time with a lot of great food supplied from New China restaraunt. Everyone had a good time and ate a lot of food. The Thoreson punch was a hit. This is normally reserved for Christmas with my side of the family. We went through many pitchers of it. That was a hit. About 30-35 people came. The music was good and the dancing was fun to watch with Kari Smalley giving lessons 2 times during the night. It was good to know that I am not the only one that did not how to swing dance. I learned a few basic dance moves. Thank you to everyone who came. It was fun and I think we have to do it again!

Whoops, where has the time gone.

2007-12-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

It has been since August since last post. Nothing has changed. We understand that CCAA has finished reviewing all dossiers through October 31, 2006. Our dossier is logged November 24th. Almost there. This is another step to complete. It really does not mean much, just another step to go. The wait times are still 20-22 months. The way the time line looks, we will either be matched in August or September. We really do not know what will happen because of the Summer Olympics. Most likley, the CCAA will close along with all government agencies in China. That is what we have heard, but do not know for sure. That is ok, I would much rather go after the olympics are over and security, people, and everything else will be more relaxed. Will be "quieter".
We are having another fund raiser on New Years Eve. We are doing a Swing Dance with lessons. The times are from 7:30 to 10:30. We decided on this time because we did not want to keep people late because of all the other "parties" and impaired persons that might be out on the road. This will be fun. We can't wait. We are selling tickets for it as there is a capacity of 90 people. It is being held at Gateway Community Church here in Mayville. So, if you want to come, call us. Tickets are $10/person and $12/person at the door. Kari will be teaching dance lessons. Even if you don't know how, come anyway, lessons are part of the evening. Call us for tickets. Also, appetizers are being served and we asked New China to cater it... Get it... New China. Excellent food. Can't wait for that either. Well, had best close for now. Everyone have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Just think, next year at this time......... Take Care and God Bless.

Time is Moving

2007-08-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

It has been along time since the last posting. We made it through the rummage sale with excellent results. We raised $2800.00 from the sale. This year, we did it different. While talking about how to price everything, Roy, Kari, Jennifer and I decided not price the items except for a few larger things. 90% we did not price. It was a success!!! PRAISE GOD! He truly blessed us in that time. People didn't know what to say when we would ask for a donation. There are no prices, just donate what you think is fair. It was a fun outreach for the community. If our numbers are right, we had less sales than the year before, but the amount per sale was more. We all agreed that this is the way to do a rummage. We were able to focus more on set up and preparing than pricing. That saved us a days work. We had a lot of help this year. Marlene kept the clothes organized and folded. That was a blessing. With out her, the clothes would have been a disaster. There were countless others that came and helped with set up and during the sale. Thank you to all for that. We had some of our family come down from Minnesota and help. It was great that they were able to come. I think they had a blast. Found a lot of items and filled the car full. We can not thank our families enough for their support. Next June is only 9 months away....
Nothing new to report on the process. We are waiting, waiting and waiting. It sounds like the CCAA is moving through the dossiers at a steady pace. We are still looking at next summer before we go. But if you think about it, that is is not that far away. We have a lot of work to do here at home to prepare. It is getting done but not as fast as I would like. It will get done though. We ask that you keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. Roy, Kari, Jennifer and I are all so grateful for the support we are receiving from our friends and family. Without them, this process would be a whole lot harder to do. We thank God for what He is doing in our lives. Without him, none of this would be happening. This is His will for us. Thank you God! Until next time... What for an update regarding the Mystery Dinner......soon

Rummage, Rummage, Rummage

2007-06-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Not alot going on since the last posting. Just waiting. We did get some good news in regards to the USCIS fees. We are going to be getting an extension instead of having to go through the process for the 171H paperwork/fingerprinting. This just came out and we don't have a whole lot of details at this time. That is relief. We will not have to pay out another $800.00 for redoing that paperwork/fingerprinting at this time. Thank you God!!!! That affects every couple adopting and more.
We are gearing up for the rummage sale at church. It is next week--June 7-9th. The response we have been receiving is just unbelievable. I have this strange little feeling that it will be bigger and better than last year. Roy and Kari have been receiving a number of items from the members at Gateway Community Church. They are really pitching in to help. What a community of believers. We will start to set up next Monday by sorting than Tuesday and Wednesday will be all out. They will be long days as I am thinking I will be heading in to West Bend early both days to set up. We put an email out for help and we are excited at the response of people. What a great ministry and outreach this will be. We plan to set up coffee, cookies, brochures, etc. We put the ad for the rummage sale in 3 different newspapers and will most likely reach 50,000 people. We hope and pray for a great rummage sale. That people will come and have fun, fellowship and have a cup of coffee also. Will keep you posted on how we do. Until next time--- Take care and God bless all of you!!

New Stuff

2007-04-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since the last post. A few things have happened since then that are helping us out. In November Jennifer and I applied for an adoption grant through Shaohannah's Hope to help us with the financials of the adoption. We were told it would be late February or early March before we heard anything. It was mid March when we received a letter from them and they were congratulating us for an adoption grant that we are receiving from them in the amount of $3000.00. Talk about taking your breath away. That was a tremendous boost for us. We thank God for that. Yet, another sign that His hand is working in the adoption. The amount will be sent to our agency through paperwork and they will pay up to that amount for the expenses that will be coming up when we make arrangements to leave. They said if there money left over, it will be given to us and then we can use it for the fees while we are in China. That will make things a lot easier.
We held a fund raiser on April 6 and 7. It was an Antiquities Photo fund raiser. We sold tickets for $10.00 to people/friends/family who wanted to have their child/children photographed in an antique like photo. This was a really neat one because you will get a 10x13 photo for buying the ticket. The photographers will come back next week and then they can purchase packets of pictures. That was 2 long days but let me tell you, after seeing some of the costumes and children, those photo's are going to be adorable. We can't wait to see the photo's. The photographers were excellent and did a great job with the parents/children. We are going to do another one of these later this summer/early fall. I will set a link to the right to their website so you can take a look.
We are planning our next "Mystery Dinner" for May 6th. It is Mystery in the Library. What happened to King George? Looks like a lot of fun. You will get to dress up as a favorite fairy tale character. We are finishing up invitations and hope to send out tomorrow. What for more on that later.
The rummage sale is coming at our church in June. It will be June 7-9. We already are collecting items and people are telling us now that they have items for us. This will be bigger then last year so we are going to need help. If you can help setting up or during the rummage sale, contact us. I have a monetary goal of $2500.00 for this. I know it is a lot, but it can be done.
We have changed our focus on the adoption fund raising. We want to bring awareness of adoption, our journey and tell others of adoption. This journey has been awesome to travel so far. It is only going to get better and when we travel to China, that will the "Highlight" of it. It is like you are just cruising along on an interstate at 90mph and you know the city is coming up, it is there, but you just aren't there yet. That is how it feels to me. It is fairly smooth with only minor road bumps. Some of the road bumps are going to be when we have to redo fingerprinting/immigration paperwork. Fees are going up for these also. That will be a minor inconvenience but we will get through it. I will have to start doctoring those fingers of mine so I can go right through it this time. It will be fine.
We have "teamed" up with Roy and Kari Smalley for the fund raising. Roy and Kari are committed Christians and they are walking this journey like we are. We will be doing the rummage sale with them. There are members from their home church that will be donating items along with members from our home church. They live only a few blocks away from us. We have been spending some time with them and getting to know them even more. We are doing a parenting bible study. It is great. There are good pointers and helpful advise for parents. I hope that will help us give a solid foundation to our children. There are many things to that but it is a tool to help. They are a great couple and we know we have established a life long bond with them.
We felt that the focus of fund raising would be taken off of us and directed towards the process of adoption, adoption it self and everything else that goes with it. It isn't about the money, it is about adoption and the journey God is taking us on. We have submitted to him the adoption and are leaving it in His hands. It is only by His hands that this will be fulfilled. I know that may sound different, but that is how we feel. That is where we are at in our faith journey. It's about growing as we go. And this is helping us with that. When we are all done with the process, what a great ministry about adoption we will be able to tell others. This is only part way into the journey and as we get closer the more there will be able to tell. God Bless all of you.

Update with Upcoming Stuff

2007-03-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 2 months since the last posting. There is no change. We are waiting. We maybe waiting even a little longer now. The times are increasing. It will be sometime next spring with the way it is going. That is ok though. That will give us time to get the house finished even more and save even a little more money.
We have some upcoming fundraisers. After some thought and consideration, Jennifer and I along with Roy and Kari Smalley are teaming up with fundraising. They are logged in 3 weeks ahead of us. I know Jennifer and I feel our focus is changing. We want to bring awareness about adoption and how it will change lives. It is so different when you adopt compared to have a child naturally. We feel that as a group of 4 that we can do this. Our goal is to keep awareness out there.
Back to the fundraisers, in a nut shell, we are doing a great one now with antiquities photos. It is really cool. You buy a ticket for $10.00 and you get a photo sitting. This is for children up to age 16. The photo look really neat, especially of young children. Kind of like the ones you would have taken at a county, state fair. Dress up and pose. With the $10.00 you get an 8 x 10 photo. When you pick it up, it is then you buy different packages with different sizes. We are hoping to sell a minimum of 60 tickets (we have to) and want to do it at the end of March. If you want a ticket, see or call Jennifer or myself - SOON.
The next thing we are doing is a MYSTERY DINNER. Hopefully in April. The Library is this one. You can dress up as one of your favorite story book characters. We have the list. Call us if you want to attend. It is alot of fun to do these. Can't wait.
Then in June, the first Thursday - Saturday we doing the Rummage Sale at Fifth Ave. UMC. We did it last year and it was a huge success. This year we doing it on Thursday also. We are under the understanding this is the day the "professional" rummagers are out. I have a sinking feeling we are going to run out of room. Not that is a bad thing. We are collecting boxes already for it from generous people. We are being asked about it and this is going be twice as big as last year. Plus, we have a good time setting up. It is hard work, but is it fun.
That is it right now. There are a few more things we are talking about after the 4th of July. We will post more on that stuff later.
Again, we (all 4 of us) want to THANK everyone who is behind us. All of you are a huge support in your way and I wish we could tell everyone thank you. We forget sometimes. This is going to be a great year. We are going to be ready to go financially, maybe emotionally, and hopefully physically. This is not an easy task. It takes a lot hard work but will it be worth it 10 fold. Check back soon and hopefully we will have an update about the photo shoot and The Library mystery dinner.
Again, THANK YOU TO ALL!!

Mike

A New Year 2007

2007-01-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

I truely believe this is going to be a great year. We have so much to do, so little time. A year will go by fast if you are not careful. We have a house to baby proof yet and that will get done once summer comes around. We will start on little things now but the larger stuff will get done when the weather is warmer. As I look back at 2006 it went by in a blur. The adoption paperwork and appointments kept us going. Always to do something. Now, it is different. The paperwork is done, but now it is the house.
We have so many people praying, supporting, helping us in their own way, it is hard to say thank you sometimes. I have the plan, a plan but maybe it will come together, and that is when we get back home with our little one, and after we settle down, we hope to have a party. A GREAT BIG PARTY for everyone that was there to support us in the way that they did. Only one small way to say thank you.
2007 is upon us and we have still alot of work to do. Some fundraising ideas are in the back of our minds. We hope to have the rummage sale again the first weekend in June. We may even team up with the Smalley's and do it together. They are only a few weeks ahead of us. We may even do some other fundraising with them. Geogia from Georgias Bridal deserves a great big THANK YOU for her generousity. She had ordered and sold jewelry with 100% of the proceeds going to our adoption fund and the Smalley's adoption fund. She raised over $200 by doing this. She has been such a supporter for both the Smalley's and us. So, THANK YOU Georgia!!! You are truely a great blessing to us. You are in our prayers. There is going to be some fun times coming up. As always, keep us in your prayers. Thanks

Angel Donor

2007-01-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

The day after we got home from our Christmas trip to Minnesota we got a call from Alana our church secretary. She said someone from Mayville had called the church to ask about donating to our adoption fund. This person then contributed $500.00, but asked to remain anonymous.
Mike and I are utterly amazed and humbled by this generosity. Words cannot describe how deeply this whole process has touched us. Whoever you are - I am glad you have remained anonymous because there is no way we can humanly thank you enough. As much as I would like to be able to say thank you face to face, I have complete faith that God will reward you for your generosity and your discretion. Know that we are praying for blessings to reign down on you for God's word says: "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured out into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38 And: "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:3-4
Thank you to all of you who have contributed to our adoption fund. We are not worthy of this trust and generosity. Pray for us that we may be good stewards of these God given gifts. We know these gifts are not for Mike and Jennifer, but for God's will to be done through us when we bring home that precious child he has chosen for us.
To God be the glory forever, and ever. - Jennifer

WE ARE LOGGED IN!!!!

2006-11-29T10:38:00.000-08:00

We received confirmation today that our LID is November 24. We are officially logged in with CCAA. Now the wait. We count down from this day. About 14-16 months is what the time frame looks like. Keep checking back occasionally for different updates, fundraisers, etc. Thanks!!! Mike
For those of you who don't know - the LID (or Log in Date) is the all important date in Chinese adoption. It means official recognition and exceptence into China's adpotion system. Everything up to this point had been paperwork and approvals on this side of the ocean. So recieving that final piece of approval is very exciting.
The next coorespondence we will be recieving is our pre-travel planning information which I think comes 6-8 months from now. There will then be a couple of other travel info packets before the long awaited "match day" when we recieve the name and picture of our match baby or babies! Match day is about 12-13 months away. After we recieve the match we will have 5-8 weeks until we travel. Of course, keep in mind that all of these dates and times could change at any moment. So now you know as much as we do!! Jennifer

Sucessful cook off

2006-11-11T17:17:00.000-08:00

We got to experience another amazing fundraising event today. Our chili cook off got people all fired up:-) We held it jointly with Roy and Kari Smalley who are also adopting from China. Friends, family, and strangers turned out to compete and to buy the chili. Including Roy's and my chili (we didn't compete for the prizes) there were 13 different chilies to choose from. I had no idea there were so many different ways to make chili! There was turkey, venison, pork, beef, sausage, and that was just the meats! We even had a tofu entrant.
My sister Tina captured 1St place with a venison chili that had red wine, cinnamon, and choclate in it.
It was a long day so we will write more tomorrow and hopefullu get a picture up.

Being Translated

2006-10-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

As of today October 27, 2006 our dossier is being translated. We were able to get a document changed and overnighted it to our agency. Had to make a minor correction. It is done, the paperwork is done!!!!! For now- we are done, kind of. Once our dossier is translated it will be sent to China. From there it will be about 3-5 weeks before we are "logged" in. That day we are "logged" in is when the countdown begins. It will be about 14 months from that day.
On Saturday November 11 from 1-4 pm a few of the local businesses are sponsoring a chili cook off fundraiser. This is for our adoption and for Roy and Kari Smalley. Their dossier is on it's way to China or already is there. We aren't that far behind them. Keep that Saturday open. Come to Mayville to try some chili and have a visit. We will all be there. This will be a lot of fun. The businesses are Georgia's Bridal, Celtic Crossroad Cafe and Mortgage Central. Thanks to Georgia G., Cyndy B. and Kris Steinbach for doing this and being sponsors. If you can cook a killer chili, enter it. Hot, medium, mild, doesn't matter. Hope there is some for everybodies like. The more chili the better. There will be door prizes and prizes for first, second, and third. Cyndy asked the local radio personalities to judge the chili and they one uped and said they would plus they will promote it on the radio. Can't wait to hear it. Will keep you all posted as the next steps happen. Keep us in your prayers that this next step goes smoothly and we get our log in date. This is a very important step. God bless all of you. Thanks.

We Are There.....Just about

2006-10-21T11:54:00.000-07:00

Just about!!!! On October 16 we overnighted our dossier to our CCAI. We finally got enough pictures taken and prepared it and photocopied it all. It is there. Aside from 2 small corrections that we have to make it is approved and ready to be sent to China. We will get the changes made and on Monday we will get the papers and hopefully get them notarized on Monday evening and then overnight them to CCAI so they will get the changes Wednesday. Hopefully by the end of the week, CCAI will have sent it out. Now the waiting begins. The updates will continue but there is only a few left until we receive our match in about 14-16 months. We will try and keep everyone informed as the last few things happen. Thanks to all. Now is the time for patience!!!!

Almost....

2006-09-23T04:04:00.000-07:00

Almost there. We have received all documents back from the Chinese Consulates. They all have their approval. We just need to take some pictures and then it is time to mail our dossier to our agency. We have finished all paperwork for now. I don't know of any other paperwork and if there is it will be when it time to go to China. Almost. Will keep you posted.

Another step down, only a few left

2006-09-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

On Sept. 11 we mailed out documents to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago and San Fransisco. The documents were returned today from the Consulate in Chicago with their approvals of our documents. We are waiting on the return of the document from San Fransisco. We had to mail Jennifers birth certificate to that one because she was born in the state of Washington. Chicago is the one for the midwest. Once we get the certificate from San Fransisco we will be going through and making sure everything is done and sending to our agency. Almost there.

Finally, we are moving forward!!

2006-09-04T02:59:00.000-07:00

Now that we received the 171H approval we have been able to move forward. This next round is going to go fast. We sent for the notary certifications and received that back in 2 days. We now gather our notarized paperwork and the certifications and send them to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago. From what I understand they approve the certifications and notarized documents. They return to us their approval and paperwork and then we gather everything up and send it to our agency in Colorado. From that point, we wait. We will have completed all paperwork at that point. Finally, we made it and have completed it. The waits starts but we know there is light at the end of the tunnel. The wait time is about 16 months right now.
We have another round of fees we will need to pay. We are about $1200.00 short for this next round. There is the $2300 adoption agency fee. The $400 dossier prep fee (translation) and about $600 in fees for the Chinese government. After this we will have time to save for when we go. We will need about $10,000 for what is left. $3000.00 of that is already taken care from our Will and Memorials fund at church. The $3000.00 is for the orphanage that we receive the child from and that is given directly to them. The balance could change slightly because of air fare rates and in China accommodations. We are applying for grants this week maybe we will be receiving a few so we can get ahead start on saving for when we go. I feel there is nothing to worry about. So far everything has been met and with no problems.
We have another mystery dinner we are thinking about doing around halloween. It is called "The Library". One would dress as a favorite character from classic books. Huck Fin, Peter Pan, etc. I think it is for 30 people. We don't think we will do this as a fund raiser but more of a "free will". I think we have asked for all the fundraising we can do at this point. It is so hard to ask for help with funding. That's why we think a free will is better. If no money were to be raised, that is fine. Most importantly, we were able to gather as a group and have fun and fellowship. (We are talking about, and have been asked, doing another rummage sale next spring at church. I think we will because it was so much fun and most important a great ministry for our church.) Anyway, the mystery dinner looks like a lot of fun and we think it would be a lot of fun just do with friends and family. Don't know where we would have it but possibly at church or something similar. Need some room. Will keep you posted on that.
We will keep you updated over the next few weeks as we prepare to send everything off.

Just When You Think.......

2006-08-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Just when you think.... about this whole process and the wait, the paperwork, the wait, etc..... Today we received our 171H from USCIS!!!!!! This was supposed to take 60-90 days to get. We got ours in 26 days. This is a very important piece of paperwork. We now have the necessary approval (from the US) for our adoption to continue. Now we have to get our notaries approved by the state of Wisconsin, then send off to the Chinese consulant/embassy for their approval, then we send it off to our agency in Colorado, then they translate and and sent off to China for us to be put in the system.
I guess you can say our USCIS office is quick. The other couple from Mayville that is also adopting from China received their approval on the 90 day mark.
I am sure to say this is an answer to (our and your) prayers and most definately-- it is all Gods timing. Remember this Bible verse from Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.
Just when we were getting ready to start sending off some paperwork to have ready for when we get the 171H to get ahead, we are now alittle behind. It is time to start sending off notary for approvals and for grants. We have to get caught up now. Whan can we say. God is good. Until Next Time.....

And the Wait goes on

2006-08-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

Just so you don't think we have fallen off the face of the earth - nothing new to report yet. We are still waiting for our FBI/immigration piece of paper that says our fingerprints have been cleared. We probably won't see that for another 30 to 60 days.
We are just working on things around home. We will be starting the second phase of our remodeling projects in the next couple of weeks. We have a door to replace, a window to put in, and a ceiling to insulate before winter gets here. We still have indoor and outdoor painting to do, but we will get to that when we can.
I just have to say that every day that goes by in this long drawn out process, the more firmly I believe that this is whole thing is covered by God. Everything good that has ever come into my life has been His doing - it is just that it usually takes me quite a while to come around to His way of thinking. I have gotten to the point (after many years of banging my head against the wall) that I can pretty much tell when God wants me to go a certain direction with my life, because I usually do't want anything to do with it. So, defying all logical explinations, I dig in my heals and pitch a fit because God's way is different than mine - even when I know His outcome will be better than mine.
I have to be totally honest - I didn't want to adopt. After Mike got sick and we were told we probably wouldn't be able to have children of our own I decided we would be the exception to that rule. God saw Mike through all of the surgeries and treatments and back to full health. Of course God would provide us with the minor miracle of a child, because I knew was close to God and that we had an understanding. He (God) would save Mike from cancer, Mike and I would dedicate our lives to Him, He would bless our commitment with a baby. Made perfect sense to me.
Have any of you every seen the bungie cord game where you attach yourself to a bungie cord that has a big inflatable air pillow behind it and run full speed ahead as far as you can? Well you know what happens, just when you think you can hold it, the laws of super elastic kick in and wham, splat! Back into the pillow.
I was running full steam ahead with my plan - I never even noticed that as soon as you give your life to Christ you automatically get the bungie cord of the Spirit. I stretched that cord as far as I possibly could this time. I'm still trying to clear my head because I hit that pillow so hard:-)
The first thing I realized when I hit was that even though I didn't understand His plan, I needed to be obedient to what I knew God wanted me to do. And in a moment of reluctant insight I knew he wanted us to adopted a baby. Not just any baby and quite possibly babies plural from China.
I have more to say - but it's getting late and I have to get up very early tomorrow so - to be continued........
Jennifer

Fingerprinting is Complete

2006-07-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

Today, I was able to be fingerprinted. My fingers had healed enough to pass. Of course there is always a chance the FBI can reject them but they didn't think so. They viewed them and said have a nice day. In and out within 15 minutes. I am not aware of a government office operating at that type of lightning speed. It was nice. Got there at 8:30am and by the time we walked out it was before 9am. 3rd shift was kicking my butt, am I tired. I should go back to bed but I need to eat. Now we wait. It sounds like it will take the 90 days to receive the 171H paperwork for approval or denial. Once we have that paper we can finish our paper work and send it to our agency. Once they have it, with 2 weeks roughly they will prepare and send it to the Chinese gov't for us to be entered into their system. Once we have been entered (which can take 30-60 days) we will have the ever so need Log In Date. From there the wait begins. Right now it is 12-15 months from that date. So if you add up the time line if we receive the 171H in 90 days that will be November 1st. Allow 1-2 weeks for us to makes sure we have all of our paperwork ready. Mail all our paperwork to our agency and they will prepare it for China. They send it off in 2 weeks. That would be about Thanksgiving. Now you have to allow for the 30-60 days for the Chinese government to enter us into their system. That would put us at about beginning of Febuary. From there we wait the 12-15 months to go. YES, that is a long time but don't forget our heading for this. It is a walk by faith. 90 percent of people would never want to go through this process because it is long. It is grueling. It is frustrating and on and on and on. But with the good Lord doing this we have to understand that it is his timing. Everyone needs to know that there is a child already picked out for us and it has to fall into place. Don't be impatient or frustrated about this process, just understand that God is in control and we will do what we are supposed to do. When we arrive home after all of this, everyone will truely know why it took the amount of time it did. I have heard it said time and time again, "I would rather go through a normal pregnancy than do that". Not us, we prefer the hard path to take. And so far, it isn't hard. We are welcoming this walk of faith for us to grow in Jesus Christ through this process. He is teaching us valuable lesson through this walk. So, in closing, don't lose heart, keep strong for us, and most of all--PRAY for us for this process. The power of prayer is more powerful than anything else. Until next time-- God bless.

Mike

Delayed-- Temporarily

2006-07-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

We had a minor setback yesterday for fingerprinting. Being I work with my hands alot and doing alot of assembly work (at work or at home/shop) I usually have nuts and bolts in my hands. Being I use my thumb and index finger (either hand) I have somewhat dried out skin. Well, it was bad enough that they couldn't do my fingerprinting. Jennifer was able to do hers. I will have to go back on July 31st and do it then. The sheet we received from USCIS with our appointment says not to have any cuts, scrapes, etc. Not realizing what they meant. They mean even stuff not visible to the human eye is picked up on these machines. It is high tech. They put my thumb on there and it appeared on the screen in front and you could see any little cut/crack what ever. They suggested that I "nurse" my fingers and soak them and use a lot of hand lotion. They did say the one good thing about it is that we only drove 1 1/2 to get there. They have had to turn people away who have come from Michigan and Iowa. Felt better after hearing that. They even said one gentlemen who is a wood worker took a month off from work for his fingers to heal properly so they could do his fingerprinting. So, I will go back on July 31 at 8am and try again. It's like I almost want to wrap them in some kind of bubble rap to protect them. Even a paper cut the size of a pin head could be rejected. That is it for now. Don't be discouraged about this process. It is going to take awhile. Jennifer and I have a whole lot of faith in this and we are trusting God that this is all part of it. There is a special little boy, girl, siblings, twins etc that he has waiting for us and it has to be on HIS timing. It is a hard thing to understand sometimes but in the end, we will truely understand it and know why we had to do what we had to do. It's up to Him, not us. We would want it now, but this isn't one of those buy it and have it now situations. Have faith, and alot of it. It's easier. Until next time.

Mike

Fingerprinting Scheduled!

2006-06-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Finally we have been scheduled to be fingerprinted! It is July 12 at 1 PMThis is important since it is one step closer to receiving our approval from the USCIS. Once we have that approval letter; which can take up to 90 days to get, we will be able to finish our paperwork and send it to CCAI. One step closer to getting our Log In Date. Almost there!!. Thanks to all.